


Seeing the World Through Your Eyes

by Twistedowl87



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-17 12:44:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 41,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twistedowl87/pseuds/Twistedowl87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity uses her past to try and help Oliver with the present.  No one knows about her past and the closer that she and Oliver become, the harder it is to hide it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alive and Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my story :) This is the first thing I have ever posted. I usually stick to reading, but this story has been playing on a loop in my head so I thought I would give it a try. So please be gentle with me. I have no Beta so let me know if you see any mistakes. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> *rape is just implied, not discribed, but not for a while. Also lemons in future chapters... you have been warned.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot.

[](http://s23.photobucket.com/user/twistedowl/media/image.jpg.html)

The Foundry was shaking all around her. Granted the active device was on the other side of the Glades she still watches cracks form across the walls. She muted her device so that if she does scream the guys won't hear it, they need to focus on the task at hand and not on her. She sees water drops on the desk and then feels the tears she didn't know she was shedding, its then she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.

It seems unfair that there is now a chance she is going to die underground when she fought so hard and went through so many things to make sure that didn't happen the last time she was in serious danger. She shakes her head, if she is about to die she doesn't want that to be her last thought. Her mind shifts to Oliver Queen and John Diggle, the two men in the world that took her completely by surprise and would never expected. She thinks of all the awful lies that Oliver tried to lay on her and his eyes that made her over look all of them and help him anyways. She remembers the first time she met Diggle, Oliver was looking for someone and she made a comment about there was no Facebook on the island and Diggle responses with, “Nope. Not even a Myspace account. It was a very dark time.” Her friendship with Diggle always came so easy. Her mind then wanders toward all the time she would watch Oliver train and abuse his body and all the thoughts (pure and dirty) she had about him. Her mind rushes her to all the awkward babbling she ever did with Oliver in front of her. She still feels the wet tracks of her tears, but she can't help but smile at the embarrassment that she felt and the blush she knew was in her cheeks.

It's then she hears a banging on the heavy door that comes from outside. She loses her small smile and runs behind Oliver's work bench with a couple arrows on it and grabs one. She doesn't know what's about to happen or who is about to come through that door, but she has been through enough in her life that she isn't going without a fight. She stays quite slouching behind the work bench when she hears, "Felicity" in a broken voice that she still knows to be Oliver.

She puts down the arrow and runs to the door to help get it open. When it finally gets open she sees a wounded Oliver and an unconscious Diggle tucked under his arm. She holds the door as Oliver staggers in placing Diggle in her computer chair and then he sits on the floor. She can see the pain in Oliver's face, not just the physical, but the emotional too. She takes the moment that she is looking away from him to wipe her tears; it's her turn to be strong for them.

She grabs the medical supplies and heads to Oliver first, as she sets it all down she looks to his face and he shakes his head at her and looks to John. She sets to work on him to stop the bleeding and get him to take solid breaths. When John's heart rate gets down to what Google said is normal along with solid breathing she moves to Oliver.

He is staring straight ahead and the look in his eyes says he's a million miles away. She unzips his jacket and pulls it from his body. She takes care not to move around too much, so she treats him as she would a small child. As she works on his wounds he doesn't say a thing. If it wasn't for the heart beat she feels under her hands and the occasional blink she would think that he was no longer alive. When she finishes up she looks to his face and he is still mentally checked out. She wants to ask what happened but she can't find the words.

She stares at his face for a while longer trying to figure out a way to reach him, to bring him back to the room and floor he is sitting on. Tears start to work their way down his face and its then she places her hand on his face. "Oliver, can you hear me?" and he doesn't so much as even look at her. Her hands are resting on his cheeks and she uses her thumbs to wipe away his tears. She takes her right thumb and rubs it along his bottom lip and still nothing. 

She just stares at him patently waiting for him to acknowledge her. He usually stays away from physical contact with her that best he can any physical contact that they do have only ever lasted a couple seconds at most, so she figured that having a hand on his face could maybe bring him back on some level.

The room is quite for what feels like hours and she just continues to catch the tears that he drops, and then the silence is broken with his voice, "Tommy--". She can see the actual strength that he is using to just say that and the fight that Oliver is having mentally just to finish the sentence. He doesn't have to; she can see the rest of it on his face and in his perfect blue eyes. As soon as she reads it from his face she carefully wraps her arms around him and he starts to sob and at that moment nothing else matters to her except that John is alive and Oliver is completely broken.


	2. A Step in the Right Direction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

They don't talk about that night. She types at her computer as he trains. She always keeps a careful eye on him because he is always overly hard on his body. She assumes it’s because he is trying to punish himself. He wasn't the one to save Laurel and he couldn't save Tommy. Oliver hasn't spoken much at all, she thought once she heard him say "I wish I never left the island" but she wasn’t very sure if that’s what she heard and she would never let him know that she heard it if it was something he actually said.

When the training stops and the room goes quiet she doesn't look up because she knows he's going to be sitting on the floor in the darker point of the room staring off into space. She has started to bring a few change of clothes with her and after she is done with the things he asks her to look over she will put on her workout clothes and sit on the floor with him. They never speak, they just sit in silence sometimes for the whole night which is why she brings a change of clothes for. At first he would try anything and everything to make her leave. He had yelled at her and screamed at her, insulted her and once even pushed her but she never budges. "I'm just as stubborn as you are" was her reasoning for never leaving him and that's when he stopped fighting her.

One night about two months after the undertaking, she found Oliver on his floor and something in her snapped, "Alright Oliver get up and come with me!" He just looked at her and then went back to spacing off. When he showed no sign of moving she grabbed his hand and tried to pull him across the floor, "I said get up and come with me!" 

She got about half way across the room when he started fighting her, "Let go of me Felicity. I don't want to go anywhere!"

She lets go of his arm and kneels down next him, "Oliver, I have been staying with you every night for the last two months and not the way my fantasies have always painted it-- I'm not saying that I have fantasies about you and I’m not saying that you’re not worth fantasying about, because have you seen you? You are totally fantasy worthy. I'm going to stop talking now." She can just feel the blush on her cheeks and she had to look away from Oliver. When she finally had the courage to look at him she saw just a ghost of a smile on his face.

She just held his eye contact, afraid that if she looks away he might shut completely down again. "I can't go home Felicity, I have memories of Tommy there and my mother and she helped in the destruction that killed him. I just don't want to be home and I don't want to see Laurel because all I can think about is how I failed the city, Tommy and her... So tell me Felicity, where am I supposed to go."

In the spirit of honesty she really hadn't thought that far ahead, and she wanted to move him out of selfishness because she couldn't take the heart ache of seeing him mentally check out again. He is probably one of the strongest people she knows, who judging by his scars that he has overcome so much and she just had to help him. She couldn't explain it, she just had to.

"Oliver, I asked you once if I could trust you even after all the lies and you said I could. I need you to trust me now ok. Can you please do that for me?" She continued to kneel next to him until he stood up on his own and she followed his action. She had to place her hands in her pockets to stop from grabbing his hand so she just used her head to nod toward the door. He quietly followed her out of the club and a block away where she parks her car then he slide into the passenger seat and she sat behind the wheel.

The drive was quiet. She intentionally left her music off and just listened to Oliver's breathing. When she reached her destination she parked her car and turned it off. She looked over at him and watched him look around and take in his surroundings, when he looked at her she saw the question of "Where have you brought me?" 

She just gave him a simple half smile and said, "Come on." They got out of her little car and he followed her up three flights of stairs until they were both standing outside a purple door that she slipped a key into and opened it. She walked in first and held the door and waited for him to enter. 

She loves her apartment because it is such a reflection of her. There are computer parts laying everywhere except for her bookcase that is over filled with novels that range from Charles Dickens to Harry Potter to Game of Thrones to Fifty Shades. Then placed right next to her bookcase is a huge shelving unit completely stocked with movies. Both shelves she is very proud of.

She looks down at her feet trying to hide the blush she knows is on her face. This is the first time that he has ever been to her place and she isn't sure how he is going to react. She finally works up the courage to look at him and he is looking at her movie collection. She takes that minute to head to her bedroom to get some clothes for Oliver to change into.

"My ex left these here when we broke up, they should fit you. The bathroom is over here for you change," she said sheepishly to him. 

He hasn't spoken since they left the Foundry, but she doesn't push him to... It's a small victory to get him to leave in the first place, it’s best not to push her own luck. When he heads to the bathroom to change she goes and gets an extra pillow and blanket for him to use and lays them on the couch. She doesn't really expect him to sleep, it seems he never does. She would fall asleep before him in the Foundry and when she woke up he was already into his workout routine. Then she would get up to get ready for work and before she left Diggle would arrive and take her place as Oliver's company... It was her and Diggle's unspoken agreement.

She pulls herself from her thoughts and turns around and runs right into Oliver's hard body. She has to collect herself before she speaks again afraid that her own voice will give away the half second flash behind her eyes of their bodies intertwined. "I left a blanket and pillow for you. Feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen, a book, a movie, you know whatever. My bedroom is at the end of the hall, just come on in... That is, just come in my bedroom not my bed, not that I would object to that either--" after realizing what she just said she stops and looks up at him, but his face gives nothing away. "Um, so uh good night." She turns and does everything she can not to run into her room.

She doesn't know how long she was asleep before she first heard it. It was a strangled cry and she jumped from her bed and ran to the living room to see Oliver jerking in his sleep saying the word failure over and over. She knew what she was about to do was a terrible idea, but she couldn't left him continue this. She reached out for him touching his upper arm and softly saying his name. His eyes shot open and his hands found her throat. She didn't panic, not even when she felt extra pressure, she just waited for him to collect himself. He looked her in the eyes and then saw what he was doing and let her go.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Felicity I can't believe I did that, I am so sorry." He said this over and over again as he sat up and rested his hands on his knees and put his face in his hands.

"Oliver, it’s fine accidents happen. I'm the one who is sorry I shouldn't have touched you. Don't worry about it. No harm done." She sat next to him, sitting closer to him than she probably should have, but she was just trying to show him that she has no fear pointed toward him. 

He takes a deep breath and looks at her, "Why have you been here for me? I'm a killer and you aren't scared of me... Why?"

She actually has to take a moment to reply to his question, she has to make sure she words this just right so that more questions that she doesn't want asked come to his mind. "Oliver, people are supposed to be surrounded by other people and they need to interact. You spent five years in hell, well at least I can assume it was hell judging by your scars, but you need to know you're not alone. It's the only way that makes it easier to move forward. I feel like being here for you is something I have to do. There is nothing worse than feeling completely alone.”

He offers her a small smile and a silent thank you. He doesn’t say it, but again she sees it in his eyes. She then leans down to the coffee table and grabs the remote. She silently turns on the television and turns it to a black and white movie and settles herself into the couch. She doesn’t know when she fell asleep, all she knows is when she woke up he was gone.


	3. Standing Taller

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow!!! I can't believe the response I have gotten for this story. I'm competely touched. So, to show my gratitude here is another chapter. I've decided that this is mostly going to be done from Felicity's pov, but every so often I'm going to pop into Oliver's pov and I figured this is a good place to start.
> 
> Disclaimer: I still don't own a thing except the plot

He didn't have the heart to wake her as he left. She only lasted about twenty minutes before she fell asleep to the movie and another hour before she laid herself down on the couch that left her head on his lap last night. He has been smelling lavender since he left her place and he has been silently blaming Felicity the whole way to the Foundry. He didn't notice he was doing it so he has no idea how long he did it, but he caught himself very carefully running his hands through her hair and he didn't even try to waste the energy to pretend to be mad at himself for doing it.

He walked in to find Diggle sitting at Felicity's computer desk facing the screen. "Do you remember what happened the last time you touched her stuff," Oliver asked with a slight hint of amusement in his tone.

Digg turned around to face Oliver with a look of shock and a small smile on his face, "Yeah I do. The bruise on my leg just now went away. She's little, but she kicks really hard... I blame training with you." For the first time in two months Oliver actually laughed and the shock on Diggle's face spread to the point his eyebrows disappeared into his very short hair.

Oliver stripped his shirt and jumped onto his salmon ladder and got to work. He has been reconditioning his body since he stabbed himself with an arrow to kill Malcolm and Felicity saved is life again. He shakes his head to clear those thoughts, he actually feels like he is standing a little taller today, standing taller than he has in a while. He doesn't attempt to lie to himself, he knows that's thanks to Felicity.

He remembers her holding his face trying to reach him after he came from the destroyed building that claimed Tommy's life. She wiped away all his tears and she held him as he had his break down. What really stuck out to him about how she treated him was that after his tears stopped flowing and he pulled away from her she never used his tears against him or held it over his head. She never even mentioned it to him, and after all of that she was still there for him. 

When she started sitting in the dark with him, he wanted to hate her and he desperately wanted her to hate him so she would go and never come back. He wasn't proud of how he acted toward her in the beginning, but he was so proud of her. She took everything he said and did to her and she didn't give up. Not many people have that kind of a heart, but she does and he has known it since the day he met her. He has also known that she isn't like anyone he's met before. Yes he has known all of this since the day he walked into her office and said, "Felicity Smoak? I'm Oliver Queen."

If it wasn't for her and Diggle, Oliver would feel so alone and he would never tell them that or that they saved him from retreating into himself. Thea has been visiting with Walter out of town since the undertaking. Then there was Laurel, she told him that she can't be with him after all because she felt that it was a slap to Tommy's memory and Oliver had to agree. 

Oliver's train of thought was broken by Diggle's voice asking him a question, "You and Felicity weren't here when I got here... Is everything ok?"

Oliver let go of the salmon and landed on the ground in a crouching position and slowly stood straight again, but his time to figure out how he was going to answer the lingering question. "Felicity pretty much kid napped me last night and took me to her place to sleep on the couch. She's grown really tough the last six months, I think we have been a bad influence on her." Oliver didn't make eye contact with Digg until he finished speaking and when he looked to him Oliver saw a ghost of a small smile.

Oliver and Diggle didn't speak much after that except for training talk, "You need a stronger block", "Remember what I said about your opponent changing his pace". Things like that. It felt a little like it was three months ago, before the undertaking, before his mother was sent to prison for a list of felonies that was too long to memorize and before Tommy was gone.  
Diggle waved his metaphorical white flag after training for close to four hours, but Oliver kept going. He kept going back to last night in his head and that made him want to push himself just a little harder. He actually put his hands around her throat and squeezed. There are no words to express how much he hated himself when he completely woke up and saw what he was doing. Then there was Felicity with a look of concern on her face and sadness in her perfect silver blues eyes. And of course the concern and sadness wasn’t for herself it was for him and she started apologizing because she woke him up from his nightmare.

Oliver lost track of the time and it wasn't until Felicity walked in talking on her phone that he realized how long he had been training. He clung to the rafter her was currently hanging from to avoid starling her and would wait to make himself known until she was off the phone and as he waited he couldn't help the small smile that stretched across his lips.

"... Daddy I'm telling you that this is a VERY bad idea. If she really wanted me there she would have sent me an invitation." She went silent for a minute or two before she spoke again, "It's not that hard to get a hold of me. If she really wanted to talk to or see me I'm sure she would talk to you about it." More silence, "Hundred dollars says I'm right." Oliver this time heard a male voice he had no idea what it was saying but he could at least hear it, "Yes that means I'll be there. Make sure to bring my money old man. I got to go Daddy. I love you." About nineteen seconds later (not that Oliver was counting) she hung up her phone and dropped herself into her chair and took a deep breath.

That was when Oliver decided to let go of the rafter and dropped to the ground scaring Felicity despite his effort not to, "Holy shit!!! Oliver, that was not cool!"

He tried, he really tried but he couldn't help but to start laughing at her. "I've never heard you swear before", he was able to get out between his laughter.

"Keep laughing Hood boy and I will hack your trust fund and donate all of it to saving sea otters," she replied with a smile on her face and then stuck her tongue out at him. Oliver's laughter stopped, but he was unsuccessful at losing his smile.


	4. Computer Gods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 4th chapter on the 4th of July, that kind of makes me laugh a little. I hope everyone has a safe holiday and enjoys this chapter. I'll have the next chapter up in a day or two.
> 
> Disclaimer: As always, I don't own anything Arrow related just the plot. I wonder if they would let me rent Oliver Queen for a night though ;)

Very soon after she threatened his trust fund they went ahead and got to work. He hooded up while she looked up all the information that he was going to need for tonight. She took care to mention that tonight’s slim ball had twin five year old daughters, in an attempt to hopefully keep Oliver from killing him. She hated to see that slight slouch of Oliver’s when he does take someone's life. She always wondered if he knew that he did it, but just in case he doesn't she wouldn't ask. He left soon after that, leaving her to her own thoughts.

She couldn't believe she agreed to go to her step sister's wedding. She knows this is a recipe for complete disaster, but there isn't a single thing she wouldn't do for her father, especially when he pulled his I had cancer card. Ever since her mother's passing when she was seven, she and her dad have been thick as thieves and she has always been the poster child for a die-hard daddy's girl. He has supported her and loved her despite everything she has gone through and done. She came back so broken that she didn't speak for months and her dad was there for her the whole time, every step of the way. So she will go to the wedding because he asked her to and she will endure all the stares and mumbling, that is if she was even allowed into the chapel.

She had her face pressed into a book when Oliver arrived backed in the Foundry. She looked at him and she could see in his stance that he didn't kill his target from tonight. She wonders if he is this easy read to everyone or is just her. She can’t read him all the time, but that’s what makes moments like this so special to her. He puts his bow on his work bench and places his arrows right next to it. He then removes he green leather jacket revealing the plain white shirt underneath and the green paint along his eyes. He grabbed a cloth off his bench and started wiping away the green and as he did his muscles moved and shifted under his form fitting shirt to accommodate the arm at work and she forgot all about her book.

He looked over to her and she quickly picked her book back up and held it in front of her face with the hope he didn't see her watching him and her slightly biting her bottom lip while she did. She felt the blush on her face and then she felt it get ten times worse when Oliver took her book from her hands and rotated it so that it was up right while he left a slight chuckle in the air. She couldn't look at him, she tried, but the embarrassment was so strong that it even made breathing hard so moving her head was completely out of the question. It took her about twenty minutes to collect herself so she could look up from her desk. Her eyes swept the room and then fell to Oliver who was sitting in the damned spot again.

She booted her equipment down, and then she gathered her things together and slowly walked over to him. She stood in from of him for what felt like forever, but realistically it was only a few seconds before he looked up to her. She made eye contact with his beautiful blue eyes and tried to keep her face as unreadable as his currently was, but she could tell she didn’t do to well. Then she extended her hand out to him. She will swear it to the day she dies that his eyes brightened up just a little bit. He stared at her hand for a second, and she could see him having an internal debate whether he should or shouldn’t take her hand. After another moment she saw his shoulders relax as he gave into himself and took her hand. No one said anything, and most definitely no one pointed out that they still held each other's hand as they walked outside and down the street to her red mini cooper. Once they reached it that was when they let each other’s hand go and silently climbed into the car and made their way to her apartment yet again. During the drive Felicity did her best to try and ignore the empty feeling that her hand now had along with the fleeting warmth that lingered from his hand in hers. The same hand that Oliver was now flexing into a fist and then relaxing over and over again.

After the stair climb to her apartment she was again the first to walk in, but unlike last night Oliver didn’t hesitate to enter. She walked in behind him locking the door in her wake. She followed him into the living room where she left the blanket folded nicely laying under the pillow she took out for him last night along with the gym shorts she gave him. He looked back at her, but said nothing. This is a perfect example that she couldn’t always read him, but she wishes to the computer gods that she could read him right now. She was the first to break the eye contact and walked back to her bedroom to put on her favorite super hero pajamas, and while she changed she heard the bathroom door close and open again a couple seconds later.

She couldn’t contain the smile that was trying so hard and eventually succeeded to escape across her lips. As she walked back down the hallway she made a right to the kitchen and got them both a bottle of water before making her way to the living room and sitting beside him on the couch. She grabbed the remote off the arm of the sofa next to her turned on the TV and then handed the remote to Oliver. He gave her a look of confusion and then took it.

She decided to break the silence and said, “Please don’t put on some disgusting war movie. I will totally have nightmares and then you’re going to have to wake me up and my hands will end up around your throat. Not that I could hurt you—I’m not saying you hurt me because you totally didn’t I was just commenting on that I don’t like war movies and the effect they have on me. I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad— 3... 2... 1.” Then after her little count down she closed her lip and made a lock motion across them. She then dropped her hands into her lap and started looking at them. She silently starting making a bet with herself on how much longer before he leaves and the thought of him leaving just made her feel so unexplainably sad. Sometimes she really hates her lack of speech filter from brain to mouth. 

What she didn’t expect was for him to speak, “I am really sorry about that Felicity. I did that to my mother once, when I first got back from the island.” She could just hear the shame in his voice as he spoke.

She picked her head up and looked at him. The look of worry on his face mirrored that of the time he tried to talk her out of going into that jerks casino to get caught counting cards and she knew she had to say something to him the look was too heart breaking not to, “Oliver, it really is ok. I know that you would never hurt me on purpose. You were asleep and you didn’t know what was going on… could have happened to anyone.” She reached her hand out and touched his. She expected him to try and stop her or fight his hand from her, instead he just simply studied her hand in his while she enjoyed his warmth that felt she was lacking in the car. And for the second time tonight, she asked the computer gods to help her read Oliver.


	5. Breakfast Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is now up! I hope you all like it. I know the first few chapters have been slow, but it's my goal for it to start picking up a little bit. It's not going to go super fast though because I believe the build up makes it better. Thank you to the people who have written reviews or started following my story, this one is for you guys.
> 
> Disclaimer: You guessed it... I still don't own a thing.

He should let go of her hand. No, he had to let go of her hand. So why is the message he is trying to send from his brain to his hand not getting there? Maybe it has something to do with her hand just looking so right in his, his opposite in every way. Her hands are smaller, so much softer than his and not tainted with death. He loved the feeling of having his hand around her’s; it felt like an anchor to this world he wasn't sure he was still a part of. When she let go of his hand before they got in her car, he felt this over powering urge to keep moving his it because he didn't want that tinkle that her hand left in his to end.

He sat in his dark corner again not sure if she was going to try and save him with the light that she gives off. When he woke after his mother shot him and he found her at the computers, there was no mistaking the shine that radiated off of her. He meant what he said to Diggle, he will protect her to the best of his abilities and that protective feeling for her has only been growing. She is one of the only things that seem real right now. He's spent the last few months living within himself, the last time he lived outward was when she held his face as he cried and he hadn't reemerged until last night when she laid her head on his lap as she slept.

He looked up from their hands and turned on the channel that was on her favorites list. He was about to continue flipping through the channels, but a squeal from Felicity halted his action, "I love when SyFy has Firefly marathons! Best Show ever!" He looked over at her and watched her sit a little straighter, like she was afraid she was going to miss something but she never let go of his hand.

He looked down at their hands one more time before making himself comfortable on the couch and watching the show. He enjoyed watching her more though. She knew every line and made facial expressions to go with them all. He could tell from the smile on her face that she liked the mechanic girl and the shepherd the best. He found a fondness in the pilot, but only because of the Felicity portrayed him. His eyes started to get heavy about three episodes in and he couldn't fight the exhaustion anymore. The last thing he saw was a huge smile on Felicity's face before he finally gave up the fight.

\---

He delayed opening his eyes as long as he could, enjoying the first full night of sleep he has had in such a long time, longer than he cares to remember. He has been smelling lavender all night long and it was quickly becoming his favorite smell in the world... It smelled like comfort. As he opened his eyes, he found a bright yellow all around him and then felt a pleasant pressure on his shoulder that was her head. He found a smile on his lips again; she has that effect on him. He very carefully removed himself out from under neither her, and as soon as he was untangled from her he stood up.

He knew he should probably leave, but he just felt like he had to do something nice for her, even if it was a small thing. After he decided what he wanted to do he took about his phone and gave Diggle a call.

"Oliver, what's up?"

"Hey Digg, I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor..."

It took Diggle an extra couple seconds to answer probably mentally preparing himself for whatever Oliver was about to ask for. "Um sure," there was no mistaking the hesitation in his voice.

Oliver asked Diggle for his favor, but by the end of the call the hesitation in Digg’s voice was completely gone. Diggle should be here in about fifteen minutes, so Oliver went into Felicity's kitchen to figure out where everything was. 

He had the plates and cups all he needed now was silverware. He pulled the first drawer he saw open and looked inside, and there was nothing but what looked like old mail. He was in the motion of closing the drawer when something caught his attention and he opened it back up again. What had him intrigued wasn't jewelry or something colorful, it was a name on one of the envelops, "Megan Stein". He read and re-read that name and played the same question over and over in his head, "Why does that name sound so familiar?"

He closed the drawer and was running through his memory to find that name, but nothing stuck out in his head. He was brought out of his head with a light knock on the door. He walked to the door and just opened the door knowing it was Digg. 

"Hey Diggle, thanks for doing this," Oliver said in a whisper. Diggle had a question on his face, so Oliver motioned to the living room where he left Felicity sleeping on the couch.

Diggle nodded to Oliver and then both men walked into the kitchen. "I thought you said that when she kidnapped you that last time you were sleeping on the couch... So why is she on the couch instead?" Oliver could feel Diggle's eyes following him around the kitchen. When he finally looked at the other man, he still didn't have an answer so he just shrugged his shoulders. "Here is a change of clothes and a couple things I thought you were going to need, toothbrush and whatever. Why don't you go freshen up and I'll set breakfast up."

Oliver moved toward the bathroom thankful that Digg didn't push the matter more than that. Today was the second time he has woken up to having Felicity near him and he was having enough difficulty lying to himself, trying to tell himself that he doesn't enjoyed waking up to the smell of lavender that is Felicity. He walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Digg already had the plates set and at her little dining room table, so Oliver took a cup of coffee and walked into the living room.

She was stretched out on the couch. With Digg still in the kitchen and Oliver wasn't in his line of sight, Oliver took in the sight of Felicity for a second before he woke her up. He put the coffee close to her nose and put his free hand in her hair working his thumb over her forehead and then he said her name quietly and very calm, "Felicity."

He saw a little bit of movement from her that was soon followed by a low moan as she stretched out. She opened her eyes and they met his then she spoke, “This dream doesn’t usually have coffee” she paused and looked down at him then continued “or clothes.” He just watched her, trying with all his might not to laugh at her. He just had to wait for her brain to catch up with her mouth. Just a few seconds later her eyes got as big as plate and her cheeks got as red as cherries. She then rolled over so that her face was facing the back of the couch as she grabbed the pillow she was laying on to cover whatever part of her face that was still showing.

Oliver finally lost the internal debate he was having with himself and started smiling. The things she says sometimes, as awkward or inappropriate as they sometimes were they never did fail to make him smile or sometimes even laugh and this morning was no exception.

“Felicity, come on get up. Diggle brought breakfast and it’s going to get cold,” Oliver said to her as he set her coffee down so he could give her a little shake. She replied to him, but because of the pillow all he heard were sounds. “Come on, I can’t understand a thing you’re saying. Just get up. It’s fine, that isn’t the worst thing you have ever said to me.”

She removed the pillow and looked up at him, “What does it say about my poor mouth filter when you say ‘that’s not the worst you have ever said to me’ makes me feel better? I need to learn to think and then speak.” She said this more to herself than to Oliver or Diggle, who was now leaning against the door frame from the kitchen into the living room laughing at that the sight.

Felicity offered Diggle a small smile as she walked past him bring the coffee up to her lips. Oliver followed her in and Diggle grabbed his arm to bring him to a stop and whispered in his ear, “We’re going to talk about this later.” With that he let go of Oliver’s arm and went to sit at the dining room table. Oliver took a deep breath and joined the others at the table to do something they had never done before, eat breakfast together as team and friends that they were.


	6. To Feel Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have anything to say besides thank you to everyone who started following my story. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer: Chances are if you recognize something, I don't own it.

Felicity has a lot of good memories from her life, but there are a special few that she treasures to the bottom of her heart, and sitting and eating breakfast with John and Oliver that morning is one of them. After she stuck her foot in her mouth and they all sat at the table there was just laughter and fun. That weekend was a great one, after breakfast they all headed to the Foundry and started what they normally do, the guys with their training together and her typing away at her computer. Then after Diggle called it quits with Oliver, he moved on to training with Felicity.

She was getting better at training if she did say so herself. As the Saturday night pressed on she finished all the computer stuff she needed to get done. Oliver was about to walk out the door to go play up his club owner playboy persona and later that night he was going to go be the Hood. Felicity shut down all her computers and caught Oliver right before he walked into the club.

"Oliver, if you want to. I'm not saying you have to, but if you want to you're more than welcome to stay at my place again tonight. I've left a key on your work bench. But like I said you don't have too. So um, good night." She turned around and walked out through the back door before he could say anything to her.

She tried her best to stay awake and see if he was going to come, but she didn't make it. She was awoken later by the smell of sandalwood and strong arms as they carried her to her bedroom. She didn't open her eyes, but she knew it was Oliver. If his smell wasn't enough for her, she felt him place his callous hand on her cheek and for a second she felt his thumb trace her bottom lip. When he pulled his hand back he let out a soft sigh and she heard him walk away.

She fell asleep right after that and woke again in the morning. The air smelled of coffee, but there was no Oliver in front of her when she woke. He wasn't even in the apartment by the time she woke up. He left a little note by the coffee pot that read

"I didn't want to wake you. See you later today. -Me"

That put a smile on her face. She then got her coffee and enjoyed her slow Sunday morning. 

It was about noon when she walked into the Foundry again. She could hear the guys training together and decided it was best to enter slowly so is not to disturb them. She was most of the way in, and right before the door could close she heard the guys talking and she heard her name. She quickly grabbed the door so it wouldn't alert them that she was there and began to listen to two of her favorite people talk about her.

"So, you have spent the last three nights at her house and the two of these three you guys slept on the couch together. Man, what is going on with you? What about Laurel?" She knew this voice was Diggle's and without even seeing his face she could hear the concern in his voice.

She heard Oliver let out a sigh, not unlike the one she heard from him last night before he replied. "I don't know Digg. You were unconscious the night of the Undertaking. I just shut down and she was there. She has been here every night for the almost three months with me so I'm not alone. Laurel refused to see for a month and a half after Tommy died and then when she finally spoke to me, she tells me that the one night we had was a mistake and she was completely done with me.

"Then there is Felicity, she is good and smart and she sees me exactly the way I am. And I just want to be around her with some stupid hope that maybe I can see myself the way she sees me. She told detective Lance that she thinks the vigilante is a hero while I think I’m simply a murderer. I'm hoping that she can remind me to be better. I want to see the world the way she does, with bright colors and not the black and white I'm accustom to."

She felt the tears roll down her cheek before she knew they were in her eyes. She wiped her eyes and then slammed the door probably a little harder than she needed to, but she was trying to save Oliver from the rest of this conversation. She got to work like nothing happened, but that was after she let her eyes linger in Oliver's for a moment.

That was six days ago now and every night he has been at her place. She was now looking at a letter that arrived in the mail today, a specific letter that she has been dreading for the last eleven years of her life and here it was in her hands. Tears are not only running down her face they are streaming. Her hands are shaking so bad that soon reading the letter became impossible. It is when she can no longer see the writing on the paper that her knees give out.

She doesn't know how long she sat there on her knees and sobbed. She only knows that she has to pull herself together now, Oliver will be home soon and she cannot let him find her this way. Surprisingly enough, that it is this thought that actually makes it easier for her to stop crying. Oliver coming home. It's such a simple thought and not even all that true in the sense that he does have a home, a huge home. A home with more bedrooms and bathrooms than she dare venture to guess, but just for right now while one of her nightmares is coming true she is just going to pretend that her words are true and this is Oliver's home.

She hears him let himself in while she is getting dressed after her long hot shower, to try and wash away the stress from today. They exchange pleasantries and she informs him she is going to go to bed. He gives her a deep nod and tells her good night. She takes one last long look at him before returning to her bedroom. She then laid down in her bed and waited for sleep to take her.

\------

She woke in a cold sweat with tears in her eyes. She was sitting straight up in bed shaking almost as bad as she was when she read the letter earlier today. Felicity tried to calm her nerves by taking a deep breath, these nightmares aren't new to her but she has been without their company for about eight months. To try and still her violent shaking she thinks back to the last time she felt completely safe. Her mind thinks back to the casino again, when the bad guys took her into the back office. Granted she was a little scared, but she wasn't as scared as she should have been. She knew Oliver would protect her and right now she needs that comfort. She then climbs out of her bed and walked silently down the hallway to the living room to find Oliver fast asleep on his side on the couch in gym shorts and no shirt. She thinks about what she is about to do, but she agrees to it anyways.

She gathered her courage and then laid down on the couch with him. She cuddled so close to him that she could feel his breath, smell his skin and hear his heartbeat. It wasn't until he put his arm around her waist and pulled her close that the fear she that she had in her heart melted away. The next thing she did was completely on a whim, she kissed the corner of his mouth that way she wouldn't have to lie about just kissing his cheek. Right before she fell back asleep she finally realized something, something she hoped she would never have to come to terms with... she was at major risk of falling in love with Oliver Queen. The silence of the room was broken with her whispered response to realization," God damn it."

\------

She woke up because of the warmth and safety that was completely surrounding her. She didn't open her eyes right away because she was silently enjoying Oliver lightly running his fingers through her hair and his other was around her waist. Felicity collected her thoughts enough to open her eyes and silver met perfect blue. Then silver moved to the lips the she almost kissed the night before. Then she felt a blush on her cheeks and saw a small smile on his lips. 

He broke the silence first with the most sincere voice, "Do you want to talk about it?"

A shy smile swept across her face and she had to be the first to break eye contact with a small fear that her eyes might give her away. She waited a moment to find her voice and another moment to make sure it didn't crack, "Not really, not yet anyways."

Oliver moved his hand from her hair to the side of her face, where his thumb made small circles, "Alright, trust me I understand wanting to hold something in and keep it to yourself. I'm here when you decide you're ready."

She moved her eyes back to his, finding her own courage, "Thank you Oliver. Really, thank you. That means a lot to me." She keeps her eyes on his for another moment then she silently accepts that there is no major risk falling in love with Oliver Queen because sometime in the last nine months she has known him it already happened. Felicity put on her indifferent face and got off the couch and started her day.


	7. Granting His Own Wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day, not to shabby. I know this is shorter than some of all my other chapters (not that they are super long, I'm working on that by the way), I still hope you all enjoy it anyways. Also, I'm sorry to all the Laurel fans for the way I wrote her... I am very unfond of her and I think you're going to be able to tell. Sorry :/
> 
> Disclaimer: Yup you guessed it, Arrow still isn't mine :(

He watched her walk down the hall back into her bedroom and close her door behind her. He really wishes she was more willing to share her troubles with him. He was awake last night when she laid herself beside him. He could feel her fear in her shaking, but he also felt the tension leave her body as she curled up close to him. He also felt the kiss that she placed on the corner of his lips and he wished that he moved his head just a fraction of an inch so he could have felt her lips on his. Yes, of all the things he wished he wished for that the most.

A couple weeks have passed since the night she crawled on the couch with him. For a few nights afterward she slept on the couch with him. Then one night when he was getting comfortable on the couch and waited Felicity to lay down with him, she did something completely shocking. She grabbed his hand and walked him to her bedroom. She made a comment about having a back ache since she started lying on the couch with him.

The first time he woke up next to her in her bed, he felt such a rush of happiness a happiness that he hadn't felt in such a long time. She was becoming an addiction to him. He wanted, no he had to around her. Since the night of Tommy's death to right now, she has become his best friend. She has never judged him or thought little of him. Sure at the beginning of her joining as she would say "Team Hood", she was a little uneasy, but not anymore. She knew him, better than anyone has since he came home from the island.

He shook his head to clear all these thoughts he was having. He needs to have a clear mind so he can play his club owner playboy persona to be believable. He was talking with some of the workers when he heard her voice, "Hi Ollie."

He stops mid-sentence and turned to look at the woman who up until three and half months ago he believed to be his hope, the one he was always going to want. "Hello Laurel, what can I do for you?" He looks to the guys he was talking to, "Can you guys give me a few minutes?" They all nodded in unison and walked away, and Oliver in turn walks toward Laurel.

"You look good Ollie. How have you been?"

"I've been ok, getting better all the time. I'm going to ask again, what can I do for you?"

She took a deep breath and started walking toward him, "I wanted to talk to you. I really hate the way we left things the last time we talked-"

"Don't you mean you? You told me our night together was a mistake. Then you told me that we can't be together because it’s an insult to Tommy's memory and I can agree with that, so what else is there to talk about?" He voice came out a lot sharper than he planned, but he made no apology for himself.

Laurel was standing in front of him now, and he felt his jaw tighten. "I know I said some terrible things to you. I was so upset about Tommy and I blamed myself because he died saving me. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. We have a history not all of it good, but not all bad either. Like you with Sara and me with Tommy, but we have always found a way to forgive each other and move on. After grieving over Tommy I realized that he would want us to be happy and after everything I believe that my path to happy leads to you."

She was a foot away from him now. He could see the shine and hope in her eyes and that made hat he was about to say a little harder, "Laurel, when I was on the island it was hell. I went through so much and one of the only things that got me through it all was a picture of you. The thought of seeing you again gave me the strength to survive and a part of me will always love you and have feelings for you because of that."

"But?" She asked because the word was hanging in the air between them. He didn’t miss the hope leaving her eyes.

"But… there is a lot going on in my life and I need someone who completely knows me and accepts me and all the things that I can't say. And as much as I always wished you would be her, you're not. I'm sorry." He took a deep breath after he said it. He couldn't believe he said it, he never thought it would be something he would say.

She followed suit and inhaled a deep breath and released it. "She must be a very incredible woman."

For the first time in this whole conversation Oliver actually smiled, "She is. I can honestly say that I have never met anyone like her before. I hope we can still be friends."

"Of course Ollie, I'll always be here for you." She then closed the space between them giving him a soft kiss on his cheek and then pulled him in for a hug.

He returns the hug and takes in her sent one last time, and all he can think about is that he wished what he smelled lavender from blonde hair and instead of apples from brown. He looked up and saw Felicity watching him. He sees the hurt in her eyes, there was no mistaking it. As soon as she sees him watching her she resumes her walk toward the door that leads downstairs. Oliver pulled away from Laurel and said good bye to her. As she walked out of the club he made a bee line for the door to the Foundry.

When he descended the stairs, he found Felicity already typing away at her computer. He walks right up behind her, close enough to take in the smell he was just wishing for... Lavender and the natural sent that is her.

He is about to speak to her, but she beats him in breaking the silence. "So I printed out all the information you're going to need to pay a visit to Scott Rodgers, I left it all on your work bench. However, it's taking longer to find all the information you're going to need on Steven Anderson. I'm going to let the system run through the night and I’ll get back to it tomorrow and hopefully I’ll have all the stuff you will need. I have plans tonight, so I'm taking off. Feel free to let yourself into the apartment, though I don't know if or when I'll be back." She then stood up from her computer, grabbed her bag and started walking toward the door. "Be safe tonight Oliver," and like that she was gone.

He sat in her chair and stared at the door she just walked out of. He heard the hurt in her voice and the pitch change in her tone that tells him she was lying. He hurt his god given solace, the person who inspired him to be better, the one who always been there. While he just watched her walk out the door and then all he did was sit there and start missing her.

Scott Rodger can wait until tomorrow right now he needs to talk to Felicity explain to her that he chose her over Laurel. He says as much to Diggle when he calls to ask about tonight's Hood plans. The response he got out of Diggle was a surprise though. He mumbled something along the lines of, "It's about damn time." Then he said his farewells and hung up on Oliver.

Oliver didn't remember grabbing his black leather jacket and helmet. He didn't remember weaving through traffic at high speeds. He didn't remember taking the four flights of stairs two at a time and he definitely didn't remember knocking her purple door. What he does remember was his heart rate picking up when she opened the door and he saw tears in her eyes. He also remembers her opening and closing her mouth a dozen times, but never spoke and he remembers that he was the first to break the silence by whispering her name. He remembers looking into her eyes and smelling lavender all around and then being over taken by a feeling of finally being home.

What he will never forget is the soft gasp she made as he wrapped an arm around her waist and for the rest of his life he will remember how soft her lips felt against his when he finally granted his own wish and kissed her for the first time.


	8. Having Hope in Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured I would post this before I head off to school. I would like to thank my abnormal psych professor and my western civ professor for being so fucking boring that I was inspired to write. I hope you all enjoy, the next chapter should be up tonight or early tomorrow.
> 
> Disclaimer: I still don't own Arrow, DC comics and CW beat me to it

Felicity didn't know why she lied to Oliver about having plans, just seeing him with Laurel hurt so bad that she couldn’t take the pain of it all. Would he pick her, even with Laurel in the picture? Who she was kidding, Diggle said so himself Oliver will always pick Laurel. She watched Laurel pull Oliver into a hug and then kiss him on his cheek, the same cheek she had only kissed a couple weeks ago right before she realized how she felt about him and that was her undoing. The thought that went through her mind on a loop at hyper drive as she made her way downstairs and away from the both of them, was that being next to him and knowing he was there kept the nightmares away and if he was going to go back to Laurel Felicity would have to face the terrors that dwell in her head alone. She had grown so accustom to him laying next to her, how long would it take for her to get used to being alone again.

As soon as she made it to her car, the tears started. She was about half of the way home when the tears started to slow down and by the time she got home the tears had completely stopped. When she walked into her apartment she closed the door behind her and looked around looking for any sign of Oliver, but there wasn't any. She had just changed into her oldest and most comfortable pair of pajamas when she heard the knock on her door.

She slowly walked to the door and looked through the peep hole and there he was. The man who has been taking over every single one of her senses for the last twelve months. She slowly opened the door and became face to face with him. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, "Leave!" "What now?" "I'm kind of in love you" but nothing came out. It wasn't until she saw the pain in his eyes and he whispered her name that she stopped trying to speak and waited for him to speak his piece instead.

The next thing she knew, she was surrounded by his warmth. The look in his eyes had both pain and hope in them. She felt her eyes widen and then close when his lips fell upon hers. She waited half a second to allow herself to wake up like she always does during this dream, but she didn't. Instead she heard his helmet hit the ground quickly followed by his hand cradling the back of her head pushing her to him. That was when she responded to him. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss that he was giving her. His hand on the back of her head moved to meet his other behind her back. He picked her up but only a little bit and her feet instinctively bent at the knees and she held tight to him around his neck. He put her down and she ran her tongue along his bottom lip. Oliver let out a low growl before granting her access. 

She ran her tongue over his very slowly and he rewarded her with another growl. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, tasting her for the very first time. She was the one to reward him with a soft moan this time. He was pushing more into her now. Every part of their bodies were touching now, and the warmth that he gave off is what brought her back to the hallway they were currently standing in. 

Reluctantly she pulled her lips away and placed her forehead against his. She counted to three in her head before she worked the courage up to open her eyes and look at him, terrified that this was all a very vivid hallucination. She was greeted by perfect blue eyes and the biggest smile she has ever seen on his face.

For the second time that night Oliver was the first to break the silence between them, "I just wanted you to know."

To anyone watching this scene, that sentence would seem completely random, but she understood what Oliver was trying to say. She knew that he is saying that he picks her, that he wants her just the way she is.

There were tears were in her eyes again, but this time they were tears of joy. He took his hands from behind her back and cupped each cheek and used his thumbs to rid her face of them. She smiles at him and turned her head to the left and kissed his palm and then to the right and kissed his other palm. He removed his hands and bent down to grab the helmet that fell to the floor. He took his other hand and captured one of her hands and lead her into the apartment.

She released his hand and walked to the couch and waited for him to make himself comfortable. Part of her kind of still thought this was a dream and if it weren't for his lingering warmth on her skin she would be sure it was a dream. When he walked into the living room she felt her breath catch as he walked over to the couch and sat beside her. 

After he sat he repositioned himself so he could look at her and spoke, "I'm sorry that I hurt you. I didn't know Laurel was going to show up, but you need to know that it's you. I'm sorry that it has taken me this long to figure out that I love the idea of her. She was the hope I clung to on the island, but now that I'm back and I met you she hasn't been that hope I attached myself to here in the city."

She stays quit because this is the first time that he has ever mentioned the island to her and she doesn't want to interrupt him because she can see how hard this is for him say. 

After he stays silent for a few moments she decides to break the silence with the hope that the pain on his face will subside. "I know what it's like to hold on to hope when stuck in hell, and what it’s like to have new found hope after the hell is gone. My hope now has always been that I would find someone who would who could give me empathy not sympathy." She saw the pain in his eyes shift to curiosity, "Oliver I'm not ready to talk about everything I've had to deal with in my life. I have told a couple people in my life and it turns out to be too much for them, granted I'm about ninety nine percent sure you won't respond like the others unfortunately I can’t accept anything less than a hundred." 

He lifted his hand rested his arm on the back of the couch and placing his hand in her hair. He started to run his figures in her hair then asked her, "Does your hell have to do with Megan Stein and your nightmares?" He didn't miss the panic in her eyes and the tension in her body. She didn't miss the look on his face that told her that was the answer that he was afraid he was going to get. He leaned his head down slightly so that his lips would touch her.

She felt her heart rate pick up again, but before she could react Oliver pulled away. He then turned the tv on and turned his back to the arm of the couch and she reclined against his chest, again taking in his warmth and basking in feeling his heartbeat. The last thing she remembers from that night was feeling his lips in her hair. 

\-------

She was never going to get use to kissing this man or the fact that her heart forgot how to beat for a moment whenever he walked into the room. It's been over two weeks since he kissed her in the hall. She tried so hard to keep the same disposition toward him when they were in the Foundry and especially when Diggle was around, but that never to seem to sit well with Oliver. He was never over the top, but whenever he walked into the room he would kiss her hair or the crook of her neck to let her know he fine after coming back from being the Hood and he would kiss her again when he would leave as a silent promise that he would be back to kiss her again.

The first few times he did, the blush in her cheeks wouldn't go away for a half hour at least. One night when Oliver just walked out after giving her his silent promise Diggle said to her, "So I take it everything worked out well the other night?" She laughed a little and responded with a silent yes and then Diggle spoke to her again, "I'm happy for the both of you, he needs someone he doesn't have to lie to and you need someone who understands what your day is different than others."

She looked up at him and then responded gently offering him a smile, "Thank you John."

He walked up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder, but only for a second before he announced he was off to get Carly from work and take her out.

With having sometime to herself, Felicity opened Google on her computer and typed in the name that she has been afraid of since the first time she heard it "Jason Graham". There was a small bio, how old he was and where he grew up. At the bottom of the page she found what she was looking for, the day he was sentenced and the day he was to be paroled and it was two weeks from today. She doesn't know how long she stared at the screen, but she was brought back to reality by Oliver's kiss on her head.

She scurried to close the window before Oliver could read Jason Graham's whole bio. After she closed the window she started wiping the history of the computer then turned around to see Oliver walking to his work bench with square shoulders which told her he was angry.

"So did everything go ok," she asked as she stood up and started walking toward him.

He picked the lid up to the crate he keeps his bow in and threw it in. "Who is Jason Graham?" She stopped walking and stared down at the ground. "What aren't you telling me? I know he is not on my list, I read that list every day for five years! Talk to me, you know you can tell me anything. Just talk to me… please!" She looked up at him and she could see the anger radiating off of him and the hurt in his perfect blue eyes.

He was standing right in front of her with the green paint still on his eyes and she just got so angry at him, "I told you I need to be a hundred present comfortable with us before I can tell you. And it's not like you're Mr. Forthcoming. The only thing I know about the island is you learned to shoot a bow and arrow and you spent five years thinking about Laurel. You can't have it both ways Oliver! You have to give to get! I'm going to go home, I’m not ready to have this conversation with you," she then turned around, grabbed her purse and walked out.

She understood what his problem was, and she wishes that she can make him understand that she is scared. She is scared that he will treat her differently when he learns the truth, that he would see her differently and see her as something broken beyond repair. She doesn't want him to pity her and that's what scared her most of all, that after he finds out the truth that he would.


	9. Truth and Release

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, two chapters in one day I'm feeling a little proud of myself. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I decided to kind of change the way I was going with this story, so I'm putting you all out of your misery and give you Felicity's history that way I can take this story in a direction that I hope you all like.
> 
> **Warning** rape is implied, but NOT described, also there is some lemony goodness (at least i hope so, it's my first time writting a lemon)
> 
> Disclaimer: Season 2 of Arrow started filming today, and I don't own it :(

Oliver didn't come to the apartment last night and rightfully so. As a result of his absents she didn't sleep at all last night, half because she was afraid of the nightmares and the other half was because she was afraid she might miss him in case he did decide to stop by. She said some awful things to him last night and if she were him she wouldn't come see her either. It's was shame she had to catch a plane after work tonight, and she didn't even tell Oliver yet because she has been dreading this whole wedding. She sent Diggle a text first thing in morning to tell him and asked him to relay the message to Oliver for her. 

The flight was long and cramped and she just couldn't wait for this whole weekend to be over with. She was walking to the baggage claim when she passed it. She knew she shouldn't buy it, that it was going to cost two month’s pay, but it just seemed to perfect not to buy so she did. Even if they were at odds, wearing his color might give her the strength she was going to need to get through this weekend.

After she grabbed her bag she was walking to the cab line when she saw a man in a black suit holding a sign with her name on it. She was very reluctant to go over to him, but she did anyways. He smiled at her, grabbed her bag from her and motioned for her to follow him. Before she climbed into the car she told him the hotel she was staying at. After she got comfortable in the car she took out her cell phone. Her thumb hovered over Oliver's name for longer than she cared to admit and when the car stopped and the door opened she put it in her purse before climbing out.

"This isn't my hotel," she said to the driver but he ignored her and took her bag inside. She trailed after him trying to get some sort of response from him, but she got nothing. When he stopped walking they were in front of the elevator. "Can I just have my bag back, I'll take a cab."

"I really wish you wouldn't do that," said a voice from the elevator, a voice that she has been missing for almost twenty hours... Oliver's voice. She turned her head to look at him and opened her mouth, but he cut her off before she could speak. "I'll take her bag, thank you for all your help. Just come with me and we can talk."

She lost her voice so all she could do was nod and follow Oliver into the elevator. They rode it in silence all the way to the top, and he led her into his room that turned out to be bigger than her apartment. He dropped her bag just inside the door and turned to her, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so shitty at you. You have a right to keep your secrets, especially since I know that I keep mine. I just don't know how to tell you about the island because everything that happened to me was dark that I don't want that to touch you. I want you to keep your goodness."

She was making eye contact with him and she could see that he meant every word he was saying and she doesn't know why she is about to say this, but she feels like he needs to know that she know what dark feels like and she isn't some piece of glass. "I already know darkness Oliver I just choose to live in the light.” She saw a millisecond of doubt on his face and she just decided to just put everything on the table. “Jason Graham is the man who abducted me when I was twelve years old and he held me hostage for almost three years. Megan Stein was my real name and as soon as I was old enough I changed it to Felicity Megan Smoak. I just wanted a clean slate."

Oliver was gaping at her. His hands were in such tight fists that his knuckles were white. She grabbed his fisted hand and led him to the huge sofa in the living room of his suite. He didn't say anything, so she broke the silence. "When I was twelve I was walking home from school and I was taken by a man whose name I learned to be Jason Graham." She made sure to keep her tone as a matter-of-factly as possible.

"He took me back to his house and held me in his basement. I didn't know how long I was down there until I got away. He did unspeakable things to me and there was more than one time that I was afraid I was going to die down there and no one would know what happened to me. As the years went on and I got older I didn't appeal to him too much so he offered me to his friends as entertainment until one of his friend’s suggested that he sell me off." She paused for a moment and took a deep breath to hold the tears at bay. "And that was how I was actually able to get away. I pretended to be unconscious while his friend…” Her voice trailed off because she couldn’t bring herself to finish that sentence. She took another deep breath then carried on, “And afterward he left me in the room that he put me in while they watched a football game in the living room. 

"His friend eventually left and got the gun I knew he kept in the dresser drawer I knew was there because he had threatened me with it many times before. Then I walked into the living room and shot him in the knee, he screamed and cursed at me then he came at me and he somehow ended up going unconscious. Then I got away. I didn't talk to anyone for months and recovery was long and emotionally painful." She tried so hard to keep from crying but she ended up crying anyway. She looked up at his face and saw the one thing there she didn’t want to see. "I don't want your pity. I accepted what happened to me a long time ago. I'm not saying I'm a poster child for sanity or anything, there are days that it's harder to deal with than others but I deal with it. I'm a lot stronger than I look Oliver, you don't have to handle me with kid gloves."

They sat in silence for a long time. She was able to work her hands into his fists and he was looking at her hands in his. The silence seemed to be never ending, until finally Oliver spoke with a broken voice, "The news." Felicity looked at him slightly confused and then he continued with the cracks in his voice, "When I saw the name Megan Stein, I knew I recognized it from somewhere. It was the news."

Her tears had pretty much stopped by now and she was just looking at him. She removed one of her hands from his and reached up and touched his cheek, a lot like the night of the Undertaking. There were tears running down Oliver's cheeks again. He tried to speak to her, but he couldn't get past "I'm" and after several failed attempts Felicity leaded in and captured his lips on hers. After several seconds, he didn't responded to her. In an attempt to get him out of his head again she pulled her other hand from his and climbed onto his lap. She had one leg on each side of his lap so that she was straddling him, but he still didn't respond to her.

She pulled her lips away from his to look upon his face and she could see that he was still mentally checked out and she became so angry at him. "This is why I didn't want to tell you Oliver. This is something that happened to me, it wasn't my choice and if it bothers you that much, then you're not who I thought you were." 

She moved to get off of him and the couch, but his arms wrapped round her and held her in place. "I know you didn't choose this, but right now I want nothing more than to kill him, slowly and painfully. I want to make him suffer so much that he begs me to kill him." As he said this, his hold on her became tighter and she could feel him vibrating from his anger.

It took a little more force than she thought it would, but she was able to pull back enough to make eye contact with Oliver again. "Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me that right now all you want to do is hurt him and then kill him because of what he did, but right now Oliver I need you. I need you here with me in this disturbingly huge hotel suite and not a million miles away. I'm sorry that I dropped it on you like that, but I want us to get past this part. You're my best friend and I care so much about you that I can hardly breathe at times. I want you in every sense of the word and I want you to want me, too. I want you to want me just the way I am, broken baggage and all."

With a little more work she was able to pull herself completely out of his grasp and stood right in front of him. Each arm was spread away from her body then she said, "I'm right here and I am standing in front of you asking you if you want me or if you don't? We can worry about the other bull shit later."

She watched his eyes work their way up her body and then back down. He gave nothing away. She wished that she could just push a fast forward button so she could find out what was going to happen next. She dropped her hands to her side after a few minutes of silence and then after a few more she slightly dropped her head. She turned from the large sofa and headed to the door. When she reached down for her bag and picked it up that was when Oliver finally spoke to her, "You."

She put her bag back down and turned to face him. He had stood up and was walking toward her, "Me what Oliver?"

He didn't slow his pace down, he was three steps away from her when he said, "I want you. Just you." When he finished speaking he had reached her and she jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around her waist as he held on to her. They were frantically kissing each other. Felicity pushed her hands into his hair and slightly pulled on it.

Oliver removed his lips from hers and placed his lips right below her ear. He nipped at her ear and the skin right below it and she rewarded him with a slight moan as she arched her back pressing herself against him. As Oliver worked down her neck down to her collar bone and he kept saying, "You" over and over again.

She didn't know Oliver had been walking to anywhere until he softly deposited her to the huge bed. He climbed over her, running his lips and tongue from the top of her shirt right above her breasts, up her neck, over her chin and then to her lips. When his lips finally met hers again she moaned into his mouth, which only made him push into the kiss more. She moved her hands down his back until she found the hem of his shirt and grabbing it firmly in her hands she pulled it above his head and threw it to the floor.

She pushed her finger tips into his back and a noise escaped the back of Oliver's throat. He pulled himself away from her so he could grab her shirt and lift it above her head. As her shirt went flying to the other side of the room she heard Oliver let out a soft sigh then returned to her lips. He moved his mouth back down her neck and down to her left breast. He ran his tongue over her nipple and even with her bright purple bra on it still felt amazing and she couldn't stop the moan that came out of her mouth. 

Oliver worked his hands underneath her and uncapped her bra. She watched his face as he took in the sight of her for the very first time and she couldn't help but smile because his eyes reminded her of someone opening a birthday present. His mouth returned to her left breast and he took her nipple into his mouth and her back arched and she then felt I smile against her skin. The skin on skin feeling was almost too much for her body to take, she can't ever remember wanting so one so badly before.

Oliver moved from her left breast to her right paying them equal attention, and as she took in the pleasure that Oliver's mouth was giving her he brought his hand up to her left breast and started to roll her nipple between his fingers. Her moans kept getting louder and he seemed to be relishing in that fact. Felicity then did her best to reach for his belt and undo it, then making quick work of the button and zipper on his jeans. Unfortunately she wasn't able to push them down very far. She made a noise out of pure frustration and that was what got Oliver's attention. He looked down at his jeans and saw that Felicity had already undone everything, and a smug smile stretched across his face.

He climbed off of her, when she was about to make a sound in protest she felt him undoing the button and zipper to her pants and then he slowly lowered her dress pants with her matching purple underwear. She couldn't sit still, her body was aching for the release that she knew only Oliver could give her. She heard his pants hit the floor and she looked up at him. He was so beautiful, the perfect example of what a man was supposed to look like. The scars that cover his body only added to his beauty. They showed turmoil and that people can overcome anything.

He climbed back on top of her and softly kissed her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and then she felt him slip a finger inside of her. She has been without for well over a year and was unable to stop herself from breaking the kiss and gasp, "Oh my god."

This was all the encouragement that Oliver needed. He returned to kissing her the smile on his face even larger as he slowly worked his finger in and out of her. Felicity started to move her hips in unison with Oliver's hand. When he pressed in another figure inside of her, she fell over the edge she didn't know she was teetering. Oliver continued to move his figures in and out of her as she rode out the orgasm.

When she finally stopped shivering he removed his fingers and positioned himself at her entrance. He stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes asking if he should continue. She picked her head up off the bed and softly kissed him while she wrapped her legs around his waist. Taking that as permission, he slowly entered her. She moaned at the feeling of having him inside of her. She had had this fantasy a million times in the year that she has known him, and those fantasies never did him justice.

After he filled her to the hilt with himself he slowly started to more within her. He went so slow that it was almost painful, but she was able to feel and enjoy every inch of him. She moved her hands from behind his neck to his back. She dug her nails into his back and used her legs to try to push him deeper inside of her. The sensation was indescribable to her and she felt her body working toward another release.

She was only able to get the word, "Please" out in between her moaning. He started to move faster inside of her and every so often she thought she heard things like, "Feels so amazing" "Made for me" "Perfect" and "Mine". He brought his head down to hers and kissed her while one of his hands moved between them and started rubbing small circles over her sensitive bundle of nerves located just above where they were joined. When she finally fell over the edge again, she came screaming his name. He continued to work himself in and out of her, determined to make her orgasm last as long as possible.

She was done recovering from her second orgasm and was rapidly approaching her third when she looked up to Oliver and saw he was close too. She squeezed her legs around him again, and then he came muttering her name over and over. She could feel his release inside of her and that started her third and final orgasm. She came saying his name again, and something else that she really hoped he didn't hear. She was coming down off the amazing high he had just given her and she fell asleep with him still inside her.


	10. Brain to Mouth Filter Malfunction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 10, I hope you like it. The next chapter isn't going to be for about a week. I have mid-terms for my summer session coming up next week.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I still don't own Arrow

He was still trying to catch his breath from probably one of the most incenses experiences he has ever had. She had completely taken over all his senses, he felt her still completely wrapped around him, he could taste her sweat as he placed a soft kiss on her neck, he saw blonde hair everywhere his eyes could look to and finally his nose could only take in the smell of lavender. After he was able to gather enough strength he pushed himself up onto his hands and looked at her face and saw that she was fast asleep. He lowered his lips to hers for a barely there kiss and then pulled himself from within her and off the top of her.

He stood from the bed and covered her up with a blanket that was at the end of the bed. He gathered his boxer shorts and jeans and slipped them back on then walked into the living room. As he walked toward where her travel bag was he thought about the last twenty four hours or so. This whole day didn't go the way he thought it would at all.

After she left him in the Foundry last night he was so mad at himself that he decided that punishing his body was the best idea and the fleeting smell of her didn't help his mood at all. He pushed her after he promised he wouldn't and she left him because of it and he didn't blame her. By the time he was done working out he could hardly move his arms. He wanted nothing more than to go to her place and apologize over and over again, but couldn't do it. The thought of going to her place and her telling him to go and not return was a chance he didn't want to risk.

When Diggle walked into the Foundry and saw Oliver sitting in the dark corner that he hadn't visited in three months he started questioning Oliver immediately. Oliver then told Diggle about the night before and stood up while he did so. Diggle walked up to Oliver gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder and then told him that he was an idiot. A little later that morning when Diggle told Oliver that Felicity wouldn't be back until Sunday night he felt like he had been punched in the gut. The idea of him not resolving this with her for another two day at least was unacceptable. That was when Diggle suggested that he beat her there and talk to her, while he Diggle hooded up just for tonight. That was when Oliver muttered a quick goodbye and walked out of the Foundry.

Since he has been back from the island he has had some terrible luck with women and he didn't want history to repeat itself again. With Helena, he thought he found someone who believed in justice like he did but he turned out to be very wrong. Then there was McKenna, she got hurt because of Helena and left the city. And of course there was Laurel, she ended up with Tommy and when they broke up her and Oliver started something up again and that was over almost as fast as it began. He had to lie to two of them and it gets emotionally, mentally and physically exhausting to constantly have to play multiple personas.

Now there is Felicity. One of the only two people in the world he didn't have to pretend to. She knew the real him. She knew the Oliver that made bad jokes and even worse cover stories and she knew Oliver the murderer and yet she still accepted him.

Aw Oliver the murderer, he made a quick appearance tonight after she told him about her stolen childhood, but she anchored him to this world again like she always does. He will kill this man, this Jason Graham. He may not be in the book, but he is now number one on the list. It doesn’t matter how long it will take before it can happen, but he will kill him. He had to put killing him in the back of his mind, because he still almost lost her anyways. 

Then thoughts of losing her and the thoughts of the past that she hides so well started rushing through his head an Oliver shakes his head to clear out all of those thoughts. He walks into the room where he left her. She is cuddling onto a pillow while she lays on her stomach leaving her back completely bare to him. He placed her bag at the foot of the bed and just watched her for a few moments. While looking at her beautiful skin he thinks back to what they had just done.

It was unplanned, but beautiful just like the woman he shared it with. He heard what she said to him as she came for the third time and he plays it on a loop inside his head, "I love you." Hearing her admit that to him made the release he was experiencing seem ten times better. A moan of contentment escapes her mouth and it brings him back to the here and now.

He picks up her bag from the floor and starts to unpack it for her; putting her clothes away and her shampoo and conditioner in the bathroom. A little bag he put on the counter fell off and its contents went all over the floor. As he bent to pick it all up he caught sight of a little round package with pills numbered from one to twenty eight, and he realized that he took no precautions with her earlier, but she did. He releases a breath he didn't know he was holding and finishes cleaning up the mess he made.

As he walked back into the bedroom he looked at her again and she was now laying on her back with her blonde hair fanned out around her and the blanket just barely covering her. He wondered if this was a good idea or not, but he gave into himself. He removed the clothes he put on earlier and slipped into bed beside her. As if she just knew he was there she rolled over to her side and laying her head on his shoulder and draped her arm over is chest. He worked his right arm under her head and wrapped it around her as he kissed her hair. Right before he gave in to sleep, he broke the silence of the room with a whispered, "I love you too."

\------

He woke up some hours later to her fusing around the room to get ready for today's event. He showered while she did her makeup and he put on the suite he brought with him. About an hour later she walked out of the bedroom and he couldn't stop the smile. "You look beautiful. I really love that color on you," he said with smile on his face. As far as dresses go it was very simple, but it hugged her body just right it had a deep V-neck in the front, and you could see all of her perfect curves.

"The color was why I had to buy it. Now I feel like I should put matching green paint over my eyes and start walking around all broody like and say 'You failed this city.' Then I can climb into some computer geek’s backseat and bleed all over her car." She had a huge smile on her face and a shine in her eyes as she made her joke.

He just walked up to her wrapped his hand around her waist and kissed her temple. "Are you ready for this," he asked as he pulled away.

"Not in the least. At least I'll have an extra hundred dollars by the end of my day," she responded running one of her hands down her dress repeatedly. He grabbed her hand threaded his figures through hers and pulled her to the door.

They climbed into the car he had hired for them and headed off. She couldn't stop fidgeting and he found it rather endearing. When the car stopped and she grabbed ahold of his hand like her life hung in the balance. As they walked into the chapel, her grip only grew tighter. He watched her eyes scan the room, and she must have found what she was looking for because she started pulling him through the crowd. He couldn't help but notice so many people staring at her and he just hoped that she didn't.

They came to a sudden stop and she let go of his hand. He then watched her launch her arms around an older man who stood about an inch shorter than him and had dark brown hair with speckles of grey and a full beard with more grey than the top of his head. The older man picked her up a couple of inches off the ground and spun her around.

"Daddy it's so good to see you! I have missed you so much," she said as the older man put her down and she pulled away from him.

"Me too Sweetie. You really do need to visit more." The older man looked over at Oliver and then looked back to Felicity, "And who is this strapping young man?"

Felicity fell away from her father's side and went to Oliver's, "Oliver, I'd like you to meet my father. Daddy this is Oliver, he’s my friend." She looked Oliver in his eyes and a smile spread across her face and that told him that she was thinking about the time he said the same thing about her to his family.

Oliver extended his hand out to him, "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Stein."

The older man gave a huge smile and took the hand offered to him, "Zachary please. I feel old enough without the word 'Mr.' hovering around me." Oliver offered him a smile. "I'm so sorry to be so rude, but does your last name happen to be Queen?"

"That's my cue to excuse myself to the lady's room," said Felicity then turned and walked away.

"I'll take that as a yes," Zachary said and watched Oliver nod. Both men watched her disappear into the crowd and then Zachary spoke again, "So I take it you know the truth or you would have called me 'Mr. Smoak'."

"Yes sir I do," Oliver responded.

"It's nice to know that she is comfortable enough with you to tell you. You must be very good 'friends'." Oliver laughed a little bit but didn't respond. "You look like a very capable young man, so I'm going to ask you to just keep an eye on her for me ok. With Graham getting out in a couple weeks I'm not sure how she is going to take it all."

Oliver started standing a little taller, squaring his jaw and clinched his hands into fists, "How can someone like him be getting out?"

Zachary used his thumb and index figure to rub his eyes and then answered, "From what I gathered, he stuck up some deal with the DA and his plea deal it got him a shorter sentence."

"Sir I can promise you that nothing is going to happen to her. She means too much to me. I won’t let her get hurt," Oliver said to the older man. "Right now probably isn't the ideal time for this, but while she's gone... sir I should tell you that I'm in love with your daughter and as long as she’ll have me I’m going to be here for her." He couldn't believe he just said that, that's not something he would normally do. This must be how Felicity feels when her brain to mouth filter isn't working either.

The older man got a huge smile on his face and clamped his hand on Oliver's back, "Actually my boy, I think that was the perfect time." Zachary brought his hand back down to his, but was still smiling toward Oliver, "She has that effect on people. She's pretty amazing."

At that moment Felicity came back to both men and offered a small smile, "They are about to start." The older man excused himself and Oliver lead Felicity to the back row of seats with his hand on the small of her back. As they sat down he took her hand into his and made small circles on the top of her hand all throughout the ceremony.

\------

There seemed to be more people at the reception than at the wedding, which wasn't surprising to Oliver. What bothered him most about this whole situation was that there were now more people openly staring at Felicity and it was really starting to piss him off.

He knew that she was noticing all the stares, but she kept a smile on her face. As they walked farther into the room he could hear classical music playing. "Dance with me," Oliver said to her.

She looked to her side and made eye contact with him. He walked her to the dance floor and pulled her close with an arm around her waist and his other hand held her hand tight. He held her closer than what was really necessary, but he wanted to protect her even if it was just a few moments. He pulled her closer until almost every inch of them were touching. She was running her fingers in his hair and had her face was pressed into his neck, "Thank you for coming with me Oliver."

He slightly turned his head a little so he could see her face and he saw the tear in her eyes. He lowered his lips to where her neck and shoulder meets and pleased a chased kiss there. He then brought his face to her ear and whispered, "I'm always going to be next to you whether you need me or not. Always."

She wrapped her arms completely around his neck closing the remaining space between them. He then took her hand and led her to a table. They had just sat down at a table when an older woman sat next to Felicity, "Oh, hello Julia." She looked to Oliver and said, "Oliver this is my stepmother Julia. Julia this is my date, Oliver Queen."

The older woman gave Oliver a smile that he could see was fake and then she spoke to him, "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Queen." Normally Oliver corrects people when they call him that, but there was something very unpleasant about this woman so he didn't bother to make the attempt. "Megan dear, Anne is doing pictures right now, but she asked me to relay to you that she would really appreciate it if you go ahead and leave. It's her wedding day and you being here is taking attention away from her and she also doesn't want everybody focusing on the sadness of your life on a day that is supposed to be filled with so much joy." 

Oliver was half a second away from saying what was on his mind when he felt Felicity's hand squeeze his thigh. She stood up with a smile on her face and said, "Thank you Julia."

"Thank you for what Megan."

"For helping me win a hundred dollars and for being such a bitch." She took two steps then turned around, "But not necessarily that order."

Oliver was unable to move, between what that woman just said to Felicity and then Felicity actually saying something cruel to someone he was stuck on shock for a moment. His head followed her toward the door and he just erupted with laughter from what he saw. She was walking toward her dad and as she got closer he raised his left hand and tucked between his index and middle figure was a hundred dollar bill. She plucked it from his hand and kissed his forehead and said something to him and then she walked out of the room.

Oliver was following her and walked passed her father. "It was a pleasuring meeting you sir."

"You too Oliver. Take good care of her." Oliver gave him a smile and a deep nod, "Oh and Oliver, you know that old cliché where the dad threatens the boyfriend with death and pain, but not quite in that order." Oliver gives him a huge smile and then nods at him. "That's what just happened here," he gave Oliver a huge smile and then walked away.

He couldn't stop laughing even as he walked outside. When he saw Felicity she had her I-just-cracked-the-code smile on her face, but it wasn't quite reaching her eyes. "That lasted longer than I thought, must be losing my touch. What are you smiling about Mr. Queen?"

He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, "I just got the answer to a question that I have been asking myself since the day I met you." He then gave her a kiss on her forehead and then led her to the car.


	11. Seashells and Selfishness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the long time between I updates. Midterms suck and my western civ professor had the class study from a packet that had nothing that was in the actual test... Dick! I also had Comic-Con which was fun. I got to meet Madu Bennett (guy who plays Slade), he wain such a nice guy and he smelled AMAZING... In case you were wondering. Anyways, here is my next update There a couple new things. First I'm post this chapter from my iPad so if it comes out weird let me know and I'll take it down and try again on my laptop. And secondly, I shifted mid chapter from Felicity's POV to Oliver's. Hopefully that doesn't confuse to many people.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I still doesn't own Arrow

Felicity's POV

 

She got into the car first and then he followed behind her. Today had gone about the way she knew it would. She did hope though that since Oliver was with her Julia wouldn't fall back to old habits, but sadly that didn't happen. Oliver placed his hand on her knee and she just wanted the feeling she had when they were dancing, completely safe and warm. She repositioned herself so that she was completely pressed against his chest and Oliver moved his hand from her leg and draped it over her shoulder and rested his hand on the opposite upper arm.

He places another kiss into her hair and broke the silence between them, "So your stepmom... She is an amazingly large bitch."

Felicity couldn't stop the laugh that fell from her lips, "She actually isn't as bad as she seems, only when it comes to my step sister. Anne has caught a lot of grieve from the family for the last fifteen years. She was suppose to walk home with me the day I was taken, but she sent me on my way by myself while she went to go make out with the boy she liked. Everyone has always given her the second degree for that. I forgave her, but not everyone agrees that she deserves it."

Oliver was silent for a moment then asked, "What about your dad? He seems like a great guy, has he forgiven Anne for leaving you? And how is still married to Julia?"

Felicity lulled her head to the side so her forehead was tucked into Oliver's neck. "It took him a very long time, but he loves Anne as much as me. To him there is no difference between in his love for me and for Anne. As for Julia, he loves her but I do t think he likes her very much. He stays with her because he is a very honorable man. He swore to love her no matter what, and my dad doesn't break his promises. He believes that how you treat your promises is a reflection of your character."

"I knew there was something I liked about him... Beside that fact that he loves you."

She just smiled and closed her eyes to enjoy his warmth and said quietly more to herself than him, "I'm glad that you two liked each other so much." She felt his arm squeeze her just ever so slightly tighter. "There is something I would really like to do for the rest of the day if your interested." 

"This is your weekend." She could her the smile in his voice.

\------

They made a quick stop to the hotel and changed. She put on a sun dress and he put on a plain grey shirt and blue jeans. She didn't tell him where they were going, but she thought there was a chance he might not want to come if he knew.

She climbed out of the car first and offered her hand to him. When he got out of the car she saw his jaw clench as he looked out at the ocean. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "If you don't want to be here I will totally understand Oliver."

He looked from the beach down to her and his features relaxed. He started walking first and started walking her toward the sand.

"I'm sorry. I feel like I tricked you into this." 

Oliver was silent for a few moments then he spoke, "Honestly, you kind of did... But I want to spend time with you and if this is where you want to be then I want to be here too."

Felicity pulled him into a hug and then she gave him a deep kiss. When she broke away from him she offered him an explanation for her trick, "I have been sharing a lot with you this weekend and its all been bad I just wanted to share a happier memory with you." She sat down and faced the ocean. Oliver came and sat behind her wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her right against him.

They sat in silence for a long time. She was taking in the ocean and he was basking in her. He had his face pressed into her hair and she felt him more than once take a deep breath in. She turned her head and kissed his forearm and he responded by tightening his grip on her.

"When I first got back, I told you I didn't speak to anyone and that was true, but I also had a very hard time being around anybody too. I didn't even want to be around my dad. Luckily my shrink said that it was normal for people who were in my situation. I was alone in the basement all the time unless..." Her voice trailed off and Oliver kissed her hair again and nuzzled his face into her neck. "My shrink told me that I needed to find somewhere to go for myself. Somewhere that I can take in fresh air and is very open, so that I could remind myself that I wasn't in the basement anymore. So I started coming here like four sometimes five times a week. To me, the world just seems to suck a little less when you look at the ocean."

"I never looked at the ocean much while I was on the island. When I got there, I buried my dad and then a man named Yao Fei shot me with an arrow. That was the last time, for a long while that I actually looked at the ocean." Oliver finished speaking and looked down to Felicity and saw the curiosity on her face. "He shot me to protect me. There were a lot of very bad people on the island and for some reason (that I never could figure out) he felt like he had to protect me."

She repositioned herself so she was on her knees facing him and places her hands on each cheek, "Thank you for sharing that with me." She stayed silent for a moment working her courage up to ask this next question, afraid that he might shut down, "Would you consider it pushing if I asked which scar it is? Because I don't want to push you. I just can't help but be curious because I have memorized every single one of your scars. Well not just your scars I have memorized your whole body. Why wouldn't I? It's an amazing body-" she found herself silenced by Oliver's lips that had a lingering smile on them.

"I love it when you babble. You get this blush in your cheeks and you have this look like your desperately trying you make yourself stop, but you can't." He stopped speaking and had a small smile on his face and a shine in his eyes. While the smile slowly slipped from his face the shine remained as he spoke again, "To answer your initial question, if anyone else asked 'yes it would be pushing' but with you no its not. It's this one," he took her hand and placed it on his right pectoral.

Her palm laid flat over the scar for a moment before her eyes shifted from his eyes to where her hand was currently laying. She flexed her fingers over the scar and then leaned in and gave him a very soft kiss on his lips. She made and held eye contact with him again. God she loved his eyes. They are the perfect shade of blue, like blue you see in glaciers in Alaska. She watched as a smile spread his face again and then she stood up.

"Why are you getting up," he asked trying to hold her to him.

"I'm going to go look for sea shells," she answered with a huge smile on her face.

She watch his smile grow larger before he asked, "Seashells? Really? How old are you?"

She held up both hands in front of her, her right with all five fingers on display while her left only showed the first two. "This many," she replied with a huge smile on her face. Oliver rewarded her with such a hardy laugh that it made her heart flutter. "You can come with me if you want or you can just hang around here I won't be gone to long. I'll even stay in your line of sight if you want Mr. Over protective."

He let out a hardy laugh and then said, "It's nice to see that you understand how this works. I'll just hang out here." 

 

********

Oliver's POV

 

He watched her smile and run toward surf. The beach isn't his ideal place, but considering how the whole wedding panned out he decided to just go with it. She really is remarkable, after everything she has been through she still smiles. She got kicked out of her step sister's wedding and now she's skipping in the surf reaching down every so often to grab at sea shells. 

She really is his opposite in every way. She loves to talk and he'd rather listen. Where he is cold and calculating she is warm and easy going. His years of solitude and torture turned him into a weapon. Her years of solitude and torture turned her into this accepting, kind hearted person. He truly believes deep down in his heart that he doesn't deserve her and the selfish spoiled rich boy in him prays that she never figures it out.

As he watches her he thinks about her dad telling him that Jason Graham was going to be getting out of jail very soon. That seriously upsets him, but also it excites him a little bit too. He is going to do things to this man that are going to be so terrible that no one could even begin to try to comprehend it. He just hopes that after everything is said and done and he has done things to Graham that the devil hasn't thought of yet she'll still accept how big of a monster he really is.

He comes back to the here and now when he sees Felicity lay down in the surf, he feels a huge smile spread across his face. For a long time he thought he loved Laurel, but right now watching Felicity he finally understands what he fought for on the island... It was her. He lived through five years of hell so he could find and love her.

\------

Have a few minutes of laying down in the surf, she got up and walked toward him with a huge smile on her face. She offered him her hand and he stood up, and she dragged him to the car. On the ride back to the hotel she showed him all the shells she collected and told him why she likes them. As she continued to talk the smile that has been on his face since she laid down in the surf has only gotten larger.

They soon pulled up to the hotel and climbed out of the car and then made their way to the room. When they entered the room she placed her sea shells on the coffee table and headed toward the bedroom while Oliver was in the kitchen.

"I'm going to jump in the shower... Clean off all the sand and sea water," he heard Felicity say.

A few seconds later Oliver heard the water turn on and then a couple extra seconds later the tale tell sound of the door to the shower closing. 

He told himself he wasn't really considering this. He told himself that he wanted to be a gentlemen. But the idea of her in the shower naked with water running down her body was far to tempting.

He undressed himself as he walked toward the bathroom and by the time he reached his destination he was completely naked. Her back was to the door and he used this second to admire her skin. It's pale, flawless and smooth and he knows he just has to touch it. He the silently slipped into the shower behind her.

He made himself known to her by placing his hands on her hips and placed a kiss on her right shoulder. The. She rewarded him by leaning back into him and making a light moan. He moved his left hand from her hip and then placed it flat against her stomach to hold her in place. If he was being completely honest with himself he couldn't help for half a second thinking about ten years from now and wondering what her belly would look like with his child growing within it. But lucky enough for him, he wasn't being honest with himself so he wasn't going have to scold himself for having such a thought.

He worked his lips from his right shoulder across the bottom of her neck and then to her left shoulder. She moaned again, louder this time and closed the remaining space between his chest and her back. He knew she could feel his hard length against her back side and that worried him for a second, but when he felt her grind herself against him and the worry vanished with the deep growl he made in the back of his throat.

Her moved his right hand from her hip to her breast and started to roll her nipple between his fingers while his other hand worked its way down between her legs. She then moans again and says his name at the same time "Oliver..." 

As he continues to work her clit and she starts moving in rhythm of his hand, grinding herself hard against him. He is still kissing her neck and she lifts her arms and wraps them around his neck and placed her hands in his hair.

"Oh my god Oliver, please don't stop. It feels so good." Hearing her say that did nothing for his reserve. He wants to make this one hundred percent about her, but now he can only think about being inside her. So to control his overwhelming need to possess her in every meaning of the word he started working her body faster and biting slightly harder on her neck.

Her moans grew louder and when her thighs clamped around his hand and her body started shaking he held her tighter, feeling her ride out the release he just gave her. Her shaking subsides and it is then that he turns her to face him. She looks at him through hooded eyes and then takes a deep breath. She looks so beautiful in that moment that the idea of not having her lips on his right now is unthinkable, so he then closing the remaining distance. She moans into his mouth and he pushes her back completely against the shower wall causing her to break the kiss to make a sound of excitement.

When he feels her wrap her arms around him and dig her nails into his back the dam of self control completely breaks. He places his hands on her ass and lifts her into the air while her legs wrap around his waist. He moves one of his hands to the front of them and aligns himself to her wet core. He looks to her for permission and then she places her lips to his once again pushing her tongue into his mouth. This is all the conformation he needed and then pushed himself inside of her.

She feels so good that he has to break the kiss to let out his own sigh of contentment. Her body was made for him, the way she reacted to his touch is just perfect. He's thrusting into her over and over again trying to keep a steady pace. He will make this last as long as possible if its the last thing he does, not just wanting to make this amazing for her but to also savor the feeling of her around him.

It was no secret that he has been with his share of women, all the partying him and Tommy did there was no way he couldn't have a higher number of partners. One thing he always prided himself on was that he was never unsafe. There were more than a few women who would love to bare the child to a billionaire and he's known that since he was a teenager. The idea that Felicity is the first woman that he hasn't had to worry about alter motives with made this so much better for him. Giving her probably one of the last firsts he has, the first woman he has actually felt completely from the inside.

It's her moans that brings him from his head. Her head is completely lulled back with her eyes shut tight and her mouth slightly open as her moans get louder. He lowers his lips to her neck and starts kissing her skin. "So good," escapes his lips, he didn't mean for it to. With the way she feels around his hard member and how her skin tastes under his tongue it just kind of slipped out.

He felt her getting tighter around him while saying his name over and over. God he would never get enough of this; being within her and hearing her say his name. He started thrusting faster and harder now. Not only determined to push her over the edge of bliss, but to fall off himself too. The moans in echoing around them was soon interrupted by her speaking in a hushed raspy voice, "Oh god Oliver" and then in a more quite voice she whispered "I love you" and that was the push he needed to fall into bliss.

He slammed into her a couple more times before she called his name. His whole body was shaking while he released himself inside of her and so was hers while her body milked him for more. He shoved his face where her neck and shoulder meet and said, "OhfuckFelicityIloveyoutoosofuckingmuch!" and with him talking into her skin she couldn't make out a single word. He pulls away from her neck where he confession lingered and he left a kiss in it wake to seal it there.


	12. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long pause between updates, I was having a love hate relationship with this chapter. I know it's short and I'm sorry for that. Summer term ends next week and then I have 2 weeks before fall semester starts, in which time my husband is going to be away for work so you guys will be getting a lot of chapters out of me then. Again I'm uploading from my iPad, so let me know if there is any huge issues. Have a nice Tuesday everybody.
> 
> Disclaimer: Nope I still don't own Arrow let alone Oliver Queen :(

She then unwrapped her legs and slid down his body until she was standing on her own. He heard her and she knew it. She started cursing herself inside her head. She really does need to go to see a doctor about her lack of having a mouth filter. She didn't have the courage to look at him until she felt his release smearing between her thighs. When she raised her head she was met with a smile on his face and his perfect eyes slightly hooded. 

They held eye contact for the rest of their shower, but never spoke. They simply took turns washing each other and exploring each others bodies. This was without a doubt one of the most erotic and sensual moments of Felicity's life. She used this time to really look at Oliver's scars up close. As she ran her hands over each one she would look up at Oliver for permission. He never stopped her, but she watched him clench and unclench his jaw and felt his body go rigid.

She stood up on her tippy toes and laid a soft short kiss on his lips. She didn't linger there though. She then lowered herself so that she was in a normal standing position and started to kiss each and every scar. For some of the larger ones she would place a kiss down the whole length of them leaving no spot untouched. When she finished with his front she grabbed a hold of his shoulders and applied pressure so he would turn around and then she did the same with all the scars along his back. 

When she finished she turned him about again and looked into his eyes. There was so much pain in them and he looked completely naked. Not just the physical state of naked that he was in, but naked down to his soul so she broke the silence, "Penny for your thoughts Mr. Queen."

She watched the tension leave his body and he raised his hand and started playing with her hair. After a couple additional minutes he finally responded, "I was waiting for the cringe that I usually get when people study my scars so intently."

She pulled her lips to make a small smile that wasn't real while she shook her head, "I'm not them. There a lot of people in the world who don't see the scars that everyone carry." Oliver broke eye contact by looking down and she took her right hand and moved his head so he had to look at her. "Do you hear me Oliver, everyone has scars. Your's are just a little harder to deny exist." She could see the disbelief in his eyes and it made her a little angry, "Alright, follow me."

She shut off the water and walked out of shower. She wrapped a towel around Oliver's waist and then one around herself and walked toward the vanity where she pulled the stool out and propped her right foot on it. She looked at Oliver and the confusion was impossible to miss, "Oliver everyone has scars. Here look at this" she pointed to a cluster of crescent shaped scars on her upped thighs. They are light, fading through time, but unfortunately they are still there none the less. 

"Are those..." He knew the question he had to ask and he tried to ask, but he couldn't finish the question.

"Bite marks? Yea." She paused for a moment taking a deep breath and then she continued, "There use to be a lot more, but just because you can't see them doesn't mean they are not there. I can still see every single one even if no one else can and I can tell you the order in which I received them. And yes people have cringed when they were seen and years later when I had my first boyfriend he was so disgusted with them that he called it off.

"Everybody has scars Oliver and some people are going to reject you because of them and it's going to hurt, but if you can look past your own scars eventually someone else will too. Everyone else can go take a long walk off a short cliff."

She took her foot off the stool and stood in front of Oliver while the room was engulfed in silence. She could see the war raging on in his eyes, but she still said nothing. There isn't anything that she could say. Either he will accept what she just said or he won't. She would prefer the sooner, but ultimately it's up to him and all she can do is be supportive.

Oliver closed the space between them taking his left hand on the right side of her head and pulled her to him where he rested his forehead against her own. "I really hope I see the world the way you do one day," he said so quietly that it barely broke the silence in the room."

She gave him a reassuring smile, "You will. It just takes time."

Oliver pulls back and lightly pushes her to the stool and she sits down and he kneel in front of her. This time it was her body that went completely stif and she held her breath. She had her thighs pressed so tightly together that her skin was white. Oliver placed a hand on each leg and asked, "May I?" She felt herself nod, but it took her a few moments to relax her legs enough for him to open them.

He held eyes contact with her while kissed her scars as she did his. She still held her breath, but she couldn't look away from him. When he finished kissing her marked skin he pushed her legs back together and rested his arms on top of them then rested his head on his arms. She brought her hand to his hair and started dragging her nails along his scalp. He turned his head kissed her palm and reestablished eye contact and then spoke, "I'm going to tell you something, and I'm really not sure how you're going to take it, but I'm going to tell you none the less because I feel like you should know."

She takes a deep breath. "Alright."

"Your father told me that Graham is going to be getting out very soon. One day in the future sooner or later I AM going to kill him for what he did to you. You deserve to know that he can never hurt you or anyone else ever again, but mostly that he can't hurt you. No one will ever hurt you again Felicity, wether its mental or physical and I know he stars in your nightmares and they hurt you. I will always protect you. You're mine in every way, you're my best friend, my partner, my lover, and my safe place... I will never let you hurt again, I swear to you."

She took in what he said, and this honestly didn't surprise her. If she had the courage she would have killed Graham herself when she could have, but she didn't have it in her. She had the opportunity to kill him and she couldn't do it. This man in front of her can kill, has killed and just admitted that he can and will kill for her. This shouldn't warm her heart like it does, but she has never felt more safe than she does right now. "I love you," was her very quiet response to him. Almost immediately after the words left her lips he sat straight up on his knees and pulled her head to his and gave her a soul shattering kiss before picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom. 

They spent the rest of the night into the early light of morning tangled within each other leaving her panting her love to him over and over again while he claimed her as his through out the whole night. He never verbally admitted his love to her, but she could feel it in every touch, very caress, and every thrust. They spent the rest of the night worshiping each others bodies, paying extra attention to the flaws that told the tales of their painful pasts.

They slept into the late afternoon which lead to Felicity cursing because she missed her plane home. Oliver just laughed at her and pulled her back into the bed. After she scolded him reminding him that she has to work tomorrow morning, they reluctantly left their hotel and headed to Oliver's private plane that made Felicity choke on her own tongue which resulted in laughter from Oliver. They spent the flight home asleep wrapped around each other which they continued after they got back to Felicity's apartment later that night.


	13. Coffee, books, roses and tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter I hope you guys enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer: I still don't own Oliver Queen *tears*

The weeks leading up to Graham getting released were easier than she always thought they would be and she knows it was because of Oliver. The day that Graham got out, waking up and facing the day seemed almost impossible but Oliver greeted her with a cup of her favorite kind of coffee and a soft kiss on her lips. When she pushed herself to her car to drive to work there was a first edition of her favorite book; John Carter of Mars sitting in her passenger seat with a note tucked in the cover saying, "I know today is going to be hard, but I'm here for you. -Me". Then when she walked into her office every single flat surface was covered in red roses and she started laughing so hard then she took her phone out and called Oliver and he answered after the first ring, "Now you're just showing off!"

She heard his laughter over the phone and then said, "But you're not thinking about today are you?"

A smile took over her face, "No I'm not."

She could hear the smile on his face when he replied, "See I'm not all brawn, I can be a genius sometimes too."

She started laughing and then hung up the phone. She took in her her space. If he is good at anything besides beating up bad guys it's making her smile. She then sat at her system, booted it and then got to work with the smile still on her face. 

She didn't realize how long she had been working until she heard a knock on her door frame. She spun around so excited and was quickly disappointed when she saw it wasn't Oliver, but the guy from down the hall Ben. "Wow look at this place. This guy plays dirty how am I suppose to compete for your heart with this as my competition?"

She looked at him and laughed a little bit because this has been going on for over a year and no matter how hard he tried it was never going to happen, "To compete for something you have to be in the running for it, which you aren't... Still."

Ben walked a little farther into her office a placed one of his hands over hers that rested on the arm of the chair and his other on her shoulder, "Oh come on Felicity, what's a guy got to do?"

She opened her mouth to respond but what cut off by another voice from the door and it brought a smile to her lips and a blush to her cheeks, "The guy has to take his hands off my girlfriend before I break them." 

The look on Ben's face was one for the record books a look of terror and shock. He snatched his hands away from her then looked toward the voice, "Oliver Queen? Seriously?!?" Then he looked to Felicity shook his head and then walked out of her office.

"He's an IT guy Oliver, one of my people... How could you threaten his hands? That's just mean." She tried so hard to keep a stern face while she scolded him, but the attempt was feeble at best.

"Sorry, I was just trying to scare him a little or a lot... I'm not picky," he replied with a huge smile on his face then he bent down to capture his lips on her own. God she'll never get use to the idea that this man in front of her was hers. "I figured you had worked through lunch. Lets go get something to eat."

Of course he gave her no choice and she couldn't help but smile even more. As they walked outside the building there was a small crowd with cameras and that continuously erupted with flashes. Diggle was there a moment later to help push the crowd off while the questions "Who is she?" "How long have you been together?" "Oliver, is she the one?" "Are you after his money?" hung in the air unanswered. 

Felicity climbed into the car first and Oliver was right behind her. About thirty seconds after their door closed, the front door opened and Diggle sat behind the wheel. "I really don't understand why people are so fascinated with you Oliver... Her I get, she's pretty, smart and clearly has the patience of a saint to deal with you, but why are they so interested in you? You're cranky, broody, and a raging pain in the ass."

Oliver just scoffed at the question and Felicity laughed. She knew he was trying to lighten the mood and of course he succeed admirably. They made their way to Big Belly Burger in silence. Carly greeted them with a huge smile. When they sat down Diggle sat on one side of the booth while Oliver and Felicity sat on the other. Oliver sat closest to the window and he wrapped his arm around Felicity's shoulders. Carly made her way over to the table with their drinks and after she set them down on the table she leaded over and placed a chased kiss on John's cheek and carefully slipped a twenty dollar bill into his hand and walked away.

Felicity saw it, "Care to share with the class Mr. Diggle?"

He laughed a little bit to himself, "Back when you joined the team she and I made a bet on how long it was going to take you two to get together. I said more than a year but less than two, while she said more than three less than four." He then held up the twenty dollars, "Ergo I win."

The table erupted with laughter, but the merriment was cut short when a news broadcast on the little screen on the corner of the restaurant showed Felicity and Oliver making a bee line from the front door of QC to the backseat of a black Bentley, "Our sources have just revealed that the new mystery woman in billionaire playboy Oliver Queen's life has been revealed as Felicity Smoak, who works in the IT department of QC."

Felicity let out a dramatic sigh and dropped her head down into her folded arms on the table. Oliver took his right hand from around her shoulder and started making small circles on her back. It was the most comforting thing in the world to her, until he abruptly stopped. She picked her head up and looked at Oliver who was focused on the television again. Her line of sight followed his and then she felt her heart stop.

"In other news, Jason Graham was released from prison today after close to twelve years behind bars. He was arrested and sentenced after Megan Stein escaped his capture where she was held for almost three years. The Stein family has refused to make a statement at this time."

Through out the whole day Felicity had been able to keep this in the back of her mind and here it was on display for the whole restaurant to see. "Oliver, can we please just get the food to go and go home?" He just nodded at her, "Will you guys excuse me for a moment? I'm going to go make a call." She didn't really wait for the reply before she stood and walked outside.

It took a three rings and then she heard a deep voice with a British accent answer the phone, "Walter Steele."

"Hello Mr. Steele, this is Felicity Smoak," she replied with a shaky breath.

"Hello Ms. Smoak. What can I do for you?"

She takes another deep breath, "I'm having some person issues and you told me that if I ever need anything to give you a call... And we'll I'm asking if I can take a few days off."

His tone gets a little deeper which tells her there is concern in it, "Is everything ok? Does this have something to do with Oliver?"

The concern in his voice makes her smile ever so slightly, "No sir it's not anything like that. Can I please have the couple days sir?"

He lets out a deep exhale and responds, "Of course you can Mr. Smoak. I'm here if you ever need anything. Don't let it today get to you ok. Oliver won't let anything happen to you and neither will I."

She was stunned into silence and the smile gone, "You know? For how long?"

"Yes I know, but just me. Since I asked for your help with the list of names, I wanted to make sure you were trust worthy. I'm sorry I never mentioned it to you, but I didn't want to bring up such a painful memories if I didn't have to."

"No sir I understand. Thank you for not saying anything and thank you for the time off," she didn't even know she started crying until Oliver was suddenly beside her wiping them from her cheek. She looked at him and his perfect blue eyes and for the first time a feeling of security didn't wash over her.

"Let me know if there is anything I can do for you Ms. Smoak. Feel better," and with that the line was disconnected and her tears started flowing heavily down her face.

Oliver takes her phone from her hand and places it in his own pocket and completely enveloped her in his embrace. "I'm not going to tell you it's ok. I will tell you that I'm here, right here and I'm not going anywhere. Diggle (even though he doesn't know what happened) and I always make sure you're safe."

She snuffled a little bit and pulled back and made eye contact with Oliver again, "I know I can count on you two. I just want to go home. Would you mind doing two things for me?" He shakes his head ever so slightly and she continues, "Would you mind telling John what is going on?" Oliver shakes his head and kisses her forehead, "And what you mind getting my car from work... Preferably without a bunch of blood in the back seat." 

She gives him a pitiful smile and he responds with, "Don't worry I'll take care of everything." 

Her face is pressed directly in his chest and she try's to say, "Thank you" but it comes out all muffled. Then Oliver rewarded her with another kiss in her hair, and then she feels him take in her smell which she has caught him do a couple of times. That simple act helped make her tears vanish and that feeling of security and warmth finally took over.

The rest of her day was tearless with Oliver's arms tightly around her while having a Supernatural mini marathon and every time she felt tears coming on his grip got a little tighter with another kiss in her hair that was always followed with him taking a deep breath that leads her to assume he is taking in her smell again. One thing that stayed consistent was the security and warmth that he gives her wether he knows it or not.


	14. Pity Party and Public Service

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have anything to say besides the next update is going to take a couple extra days due to finals for my summer session is next week. I hope you all have a great week.
> 
> Disclaimer: Nothing has changed, I still don't own Oliver Queen, Felicity Smoak or Arrow

The fact that he was able to pull himself away from her after she fell asleep surprised even himself. Murderer Oliver has been showing himself regularly since lunch today, especially when she started to cry or almost cried. If it wasn't for Felicity's sent of lavender and home he would have been out committing a murder that will be without a doubt researched for years to come.

They spent the rest of the day and most of the night cuddled on the couch watching TV. Oliver lost count of how many times Diggle called and text him. It was half after four now and he knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep no matter how hard he tried, so he picked Felicity up and carried her to bed where she grabbed his pillow and pressed it right against her face. He watched her for a few moments then kissed her hair for the countless time again tonight. As he walked out of the apartment he text Diggle and fifteen minutes later Diggle was pulling up to the front of the building and Oliver climbed in.

They headed to QC to pick up her car in silence. When they grabbed her car they headed back to her apartment. When they walked in Oliver could hear Felicity's cries from the bedroom. His feet barely touched the ground as he ran to the room to see her jerking in her sleep, having a nightmare. Oliver blocked what she was saying from his ears, because the more he heard the angrier he got. He sat on the bed and pulled her into his arms and then started talking to her while running his figures through her hair. "I'm right here. You're safe Felicity, nothing is going to happen to you. I'm right here."

After about twenty minutes of this she finally calmed down in Oliver's arms while Diggle watched from the door way. Oliver laid her back down and watched her push her face into his pillow again. He then stood and walked from the room and his hands were clenched in such tight fists that the entirety of both his hands were completely white.

Oliver lead Diggle to the dining room and they took a seat. Oliver then explained the last eighteen hours to him and this is where they currently were. Making eyes contact with looks of anger and hatred on their faces.

"When did you find all this out Oliver," Diggle asked whose hands were now as white as Oliver's.

"When I went with her to her stepsister's wedding." Diggle didn't respond so Oliver continued, "I'm going to kill him Diggle, I don't care how long it takes for me to get to him, but I am going to kill him... Painfully and slowly until he begs for death and then I'm going to hurt him some more and after I have broken every bone and mutilated his body then I'll let him die."

Diggle's facial expression didn't change at all, "I know I normally try to tell you to do the right thing, but right now in this moment and probably every moment from here on out I'm going to agree with everything you do when it comes to this and him."

The men sat quietly for a little while then Oliver broke the silence, "Don't pity her John, she doesn't want people's pity."

Diggle shook his head, "I won't. You know now everything makes perfect sense now." Oliver didn't hide the confusion on his face so Diggle elaborated his meaning, "She joined out team with the solid goal to find Walter... To find someone who was taken from his family..."

Oliver hadn't thought about that, but Diggle was right her joining the team does make perfect sense now. "I'm going to go lay with her, you can stay if you want or you can head out. The Hood is taking some time off and I'm not leaving her side until she asks me too."

Diggle again shook his head a little bit, "I'll sleep on the couch. Carly will understand that Felicity and you need me around. Don't worry I won't say why you guys need me around, but she'll understand none the less... she is incredibly fond of Felicity."

Oliver responded with a deep nod and started down the hall. He watched her for a few more moments, she is so beautiful and kind and bright and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't figure out how and why someone would want to ruin that. Her mumbling his name brought him back and he laid down with her, pulling her so close to his body that he was fairly sure that there wasn't any part of their bodies that weren't touching. She was his home, his safe place and he'd be damned to not at least try and give her half of what she has given him.

She gave him hope, a reason to get out of that dark corner and off the floor. She gave him a feeling of purpose, that there was more to him than just a killer and that he was better than he thought of himself. She warmed him and mended the heart that was completely broken. She accepted him and his multiple personas. The more he thought about it the more he accepted that she was (in exception to Thea) basically his everything. That was his last thought as he surprised himself and fell asleep.

\-----

The next day she didn't want to leave her bed so Oliver stayed in bed with her, just holding her and watched Doctor Who with Diggle sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed. The day after that she didn't want to leave her apartment. Diggle left for a couple hours to pick up some clothes and food and in his absence Oliver pulled Felicity into the shower. This was nothing like their shower in the hotel room. They took turns washing each other, exploring each others bodies (even though he already has hers memorized).

When day six came around Felicity had a smile on her face when Oliver walked into the kitchen. It wasn't until that that evening that he figured out way she seemed so pleased with herself.

"Today a wide range of cyber terrorism swept half of the country. An email was sent out with illegally obtained police files on one Jason Graham including his current address. Graham was released a week ago after a twelve year stent in prison for kidnapping and detaining a young girl for three years. The FBI has been called in and refuses to make a comment on the matter at this time-" Oliver clicked off the television and looked at Felicity, whose smile only got larger.

"What a shame," Felicity said with a sarcastic tone. "I personally think cyber terrorism is a bit harsh, I think of it more as a public service... Not that I know anything about this or anything; that would be wrong."

Oliver couldn't help the smile on his face, "Really that's what you're going to go with? And you say I suck at cover stories."

She smiled at him then answered him, "I have two words for you, plausible deniability. You have enough lies you have to tell already... But I'm not saying you have anything you have to lie about as far as this is concerned because I didn't do it." She sat up a little straighter and gave him a quick kiss on his lips.

He studied her face after she pulled back from his lips, "Not that I'm complaining and saying you committed a 'public service', but what changed?"

She ran her fingers through his hair, "I just don't want to have a pity party anymore. I thought, 'What would my broody boyfriend do?' and then it came to me. People needed to know that not only did he fail the city, but humanity and then some random person (totally not me by the way) decided to preform a public service," she finished with a bigger smile on her face.

Oliver wanted to respond, but he couldn't. She knocked the air out of him without even trying, that was the first time she referred to him as her boyfriend and for some unknown reason to him that made him feel happier than he was now with her in his arms. Oliver collected himself after a couple moments and then asked, "Now what is going to happen the FBI look farther into this 'public service'?"

"Well considering I had absolutely nothing to do with this I can only guess... And my guess is that IF they were able to break through all the firewalls that might have been put up, and reverse the cyber worm hole that was more than likely used and then some how be able to recover all the info that was without a doubt erased, it would more than likely lead back to a jerk off named Neil Johnson... Who just so happen to call me disgusting when he saw my scars and found out a little about my past." Watching her, her face gained the look that Oliver loved so much; her I-just-cracked-the-code-smile and then she finished, "But like I have said a dozen times now, I had nothing to do with this so I'm just spectating."

Oliver and Felicity were laughing when John walked through the door with Big Belly Burger in his hand and a huge smile on his face. "Well done Felicity with the emails."

She looked toward the door, "Why do you guys keep saying I did this?"

Diggle looked to Oliver with a confused expression on his face, "Plausible deniability, Dig."

the huge smile spread across his face just got larger, "Got it." Carly walked in behind him with a small smile on her face, "Do you guys mind if she joins us?"

Both Oliver and Felicity shake their heads at the same time. Diggle takes the food into the dining room and it is there that they all share a meal with laughter and happiness as a family. Not thinking about the troubles that were sure to come tomorrow, but enjoying the today and now.

\-----

Several hours later Felicity and Oliver said farewell to their guests. When the door closed Oliver looked down to Felicity and she was looking up at him. He couldn't tell what she was thinking and he found it thrilling and slightly unnerving. He didn't see it coming, and it took him a second to gage that she had him pushed against the door kissing his lips and then down to his neck and he didn't respond until he felt her teeth lightly scrape against his skin and he let out a low growl.

He pushed her back a little and looked her in the eyes waiting for her to break the silence. "Oliver for the last few days I have been only half here and I'm really over my own pity party and I want to live a little. I'm not chained that basement anymore, I'm right here in the living room of my apartment with probably the most beautiful man I have ever seen and all I can think about is living life with you. And one of the things that makes me feel completely alive is having you inside me... So I'm asking you Oliver, please help me feel alive."

He stared at her for a second that seemed to never end. She always had away of shocking him into silence and right now was a perfect example of that. She has been battling her own demons for almost a week and right now she is telling him that he can make her feel better. 

His thought process was interrupted by Felicity talking more to herself than him, "Oh God I said that out loud didn't I? Feeling alive with him inside me, oh please someone strike me with some lighting or something-" and he cut her personal rant short by slamming his lips onto hers.

She grabbed handfuls of his shirt and started to pull him toward the bedroom. When they entered the room she removed his clothing and pushed him onto the bed. She took her time with him. He just let her do as she pleased until he was insane with want and it was then that she finally lowered herself on to his hard member. She worked his body taking all the pleasure that she could and when she was completely out of breath from moaning his name from the climaxes that his body gave her he finally took control and rolled her underneath his own body. He then started thrusting into her and when her most private of body parts clutched his member for the countless time he found his own release spilling himself inside of her. They held each other as they both recovered and then fell peacefully asleep, and for the first time in almost a week, Oliver didn't have to console her terror because the nightmares because they didn't come.


	15. Fire and Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the long time between updates, I've just had a lot going on. I passed my finals (if anyone is interested) and my classes. It might take another few days before my next update, I'm going to Vegas for a huge book signing with about 150-ish authors... I can't wait! Anyways, enough babbling from me I hope you enjoy the chapter, let me know if you see any big problems. I hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend.
> 
> Disclaimer: As if life wasn't depressing enough, I don't own Arrow or Oliver Queen *sniffle*

It's been a month since Felicity pulled herself from her own personal pity party. More times than she ever try to count, she thought about her life and how much it would change once her personal monster was walking around the world outside of prison and in every scenarios she wasn't as content with her life as she is right now. Graham still lives, but only because she convicted Oliver that if Graham turned up dead, killed wether by the hood or a random stranger it would raise more questions than they needed asking. It took him awhile understand what she was saying, but he knows that she is telling the truth. She was currently laying in bed to hands down one of the best men she has ever known and she knew that he helped her through all of it whether he knew or not.

Her world in the last year and a half has been flipped on its axis, from the day Oliver walked into her office to right now laying in bed with him. She never would have guessed that this crazy top secret life she was living would ever be hers. From changing her name and her long nights in the Foundry... She never saw any of this coming. 

She looks down at Oliver as he sleeps. He lips are slightly parted and he is taking deep steady breaths while he sleeps on his stomach with his right arm hanging off the bed. He is such a beautiful man, he's like a Greek god mixed with the perfect book boyfriend from her favorite novel but Oliver real. The embodiment of the perfect man. She has tasted every inch of his flesh, memorized the texture of every scar and all his micro expressions to try and understand him better. She loved seeing the way he is growing from what he came back from the island as to the hero she always knew he could be.

She was pulled from her thoughts by an eery vibe that she couldn't quite place. There was this feeling in the air of something being completely wrong. She carefully got up so not to disturb Oliver and starting walking down the hall toward the living room. Everything seemed to be in order and in its rightful place, but the bad feeling kept getting heavier and heavier. It wasn't until she looked toward the front door that she had her answer. There was smoke billowing into her apartment from underneath the door. 

The silence of the apartment was broken by Felicity, "Oliver! Oliver! Fire! Wake up there's a fire!"

She heard a thud onto her floor and then heavy foot steps that alerted her to know he was running to her. "Come on, get to the fire escape!"

"No, something isn't right." Her brain was running a mile a minute and then it hit her, "Where is the alarms and the sprinkler?" She then ran toward the front door, and she held her hand by the knob for a second to feel for heat and then flung to open. There was indeed a fire at the other end of the hallway near the elevator.

"Felicity what are you doing? We need to get down stairs. I need to know your safe!"

She looked back at Oliver and yelled, "Oliver there are sixteen apartments in this building and the alarms aren't working... We have to alert everyone else!" She then ran out the door.

She ran to the apartment across the hall from her and started banging on the door, "Wake up there's a fire! Fire get to safety!"

Oliver ran past her and started banging on the next door. The door she was pounding on opened and a man, woman and baby ran from the apartment and down the stairs. She just moved on to the last door and the floor when the door Oliver was pounding on opened up and two small children and their mother ran out yelling thanks as they ran down the stairs also. Finally the final apartment opened and a man and woman around her age ran out and down the stairs and Felicity and Oliver followed suit and went to the next floor and started all over again.

They worked their way down the floors moving as fast as they could. There was a couple times when there was no response Oliver busted open the door. One time was an elderly couple and the other was empty. They finally made it outside after the last apartment was evacuated.

Oliver pulled her close to him as they watched the fire get worse and worse. He had no shirt on, it was so cold outside and yet he was a source of warmth for her. Firefighters showed up when the fire moved from the top floor to the level below. As they watched the fire rage on and as the firefighters fought it countless people came up to Felicity and hugged her and thanked her and Oliver repeatedly.

When the crowd died down and the fire moved to the second floor everything finally started to sink in to Felicity that she just lost her home. She pressed her face into Oliver's chest and started to cry.

"Sh, it's ok. We're safe and so is everyone else who lived in the building. You saved them Felicity. Was there anything you were emotionally attached to in there," Oliver asked before kissing her hair.

She giggled a little and pulled back to look into his eyes, "Actually no. I have four things that mean more to me than everything in that apartment all together. When I started working with this guy who has made more than a few enemies and had a mini cross bow held to my head I moved these four things to a safety deposit box." she paused for a moment to wipe away her tears while giving Oliver a small smile.

She watched Oliver fight back a small smile before he quietly said, "Of course you did."

She smiled back at him and then it fell immediately, "We don't have a home anymore."

He kissed her forehead and then pulled her flat against him, "Don't say that, we still have my house."

"You told me that you can't be there because of all the memories. I won't let you hurt yourself, wether its physical or emotional... I have a hard enough time as it is watching you walk out of the Foundry most nights."

"I don't think it will bother me too much if you're with me. You've brought so much light into my life and I know that the light that you shine will brighten up even the darkest memories that linger there."

"You're really sweet Oliver. Can we just talk about this tomorrow, I just want to go back to the club and sleep on the cot there with you," she looks back up at his face and he simply nods at her and then drags her to her car.

\------

The drive to the club was in silence, with the exception of Felicity apologizing to her car over and over again for letting Oliver bust open the driver side front window and because she pulled the wires out from underneath the dash to hot wire it.

They go into the club from the ally on the side on the building and head down to the Foundry. As soon as they get inside and secure the door Felicity makes a bee line to the cot with Oliver right behind her. He lays down first and then she lays down with him, but considering the cot was so small she was basically just laying on top of him. He wraps his arms around her and she places a kiss right over his heart.

She doesn't know how long she is asleep, but when she starts to wake up Oliver isn't beneath her anymore. He's on the other side of the room on the phone pacing back and forth. Watching him do this tells her that something bad is about to happen.

As she starts to sit up Diggle walks into the Foundry and approaches her and pulls her into a tight hug, "I just saw the news... I am so sorry about your place. Are you ok? Is there anything you need me to do for you? Oh here I brought some clothes from Carly. She says you can hold on to these as long as you need to."

Felicity can't help the smile that spreads across her face, "Thanks Dig, that was very kind of you and her. You're the best big brother I never got to have."

Diggle pulls back and chuckles, but the laughter is completely drowned out by the sound of Oliver throwing the phone he was talking on across the room and it smashing against the wall.

Felicity jumps up from the cot and races over to Oliver and places a hand on each one of his cheeks. "Oliver?" she asks, but he doesn't respond. He has that look in his eyes that tells her that he's a million miles away, lost inside his own head. She knows she has to try again, "Oliver? Baby, come back to me. Oliver, I'm right here... Come back to me."

She watches him shake his head ever so slightly and he makes eye contact with her and she knows she he found his way back to her and then he speaks, "That was detective Lance on the phone I gave him a while ago. He's really good friends with the fire chief and fire marshal and they let it slip that the whole fire was arson, the fire alarm was deactivated and the fire main valve was shut... That why there was no sprinklers or alarms. He felt like he had to tell the hood because he knew that you lived their Felicity and he doesn't think it's a coincidence. He thinks its hood related."

Felicity doesn't know how to respond. Should she cry, scream or just brush it off... She decides the ladder, denial accompanied with a fake smile. "Oliver it's ok. Maybe it is a coincidence. You worry to much." She sees the anger wash over his face like a bucket of water was dumped on him. Felicity then decided it was best she remove her hands from his face and then take a step back preparing for the verbal lashing that is bound to come. She knows he would never hurt her, but she also knows when to give him space.

"Well, I'm going to give you kids sometime and go read something upstairs or something," Diggle awkwardly said from half way up the stairs.

After what felt like an eternity of silence Oliver breaks the silence not as loudly as she thought, but defiantly not in a calm voice either. "Felicity, you are to important to me for me not to worry. I love you so fucking much that sometimes I can't even think straight and I'll be damned if I let anything happen to you. I'm going to protect you and you can argue all you want, but I will not let you change my mind no matter how hard you try."

She just gapes at him. Her brain and ears heard everything he just said to her, but her heart was stuck, "I love you so fucking much..." He loved her. He actually loved her. She fantasied about him saying that to her over and over again in a million different scenarios, but the real thing was so much better than she ever imagined. She also takes a moment to wait for Oliver, wait for him realize what he just said to her.

She starts hearing a ringing in her ears from the silence that completely surrounds them and she decides to break the silence first, "Do you know what you just said to me?"

Oliver takes a deep breath and drops his head while running his hand through his short hair, "Yeah, yeah I do." He takes another deep breath and he stands a little taller like a thousand pounds was just lifted off of his shoulders, "I love you more than I ever thought I was capable of and I need you in my life and I need you to be safe."

Felicity has a look of disbelief on her face, "You love me." It was a statement and not a question. She also was saying it out loud more for herself than him. Slowly the disbelief on her face is replaced with complete and unmistakable happiness. "You love me," she said slightly louder and then jumped into Oliver's arms.

He catches her in his arms and swings her around while she is kissing every inch of skin she could reach. Then he places her back on her feet and asks, "Does this mean you're not going to argue with me?"

Felicity held eyes contact with him and replied, "No I'm still going to argue with you, but my plan is to give you a false sense of security first... then attack." She paused for a moment to laugh at herself. When she saw that Oliver wasn't laughing with her let alone smiling she continued, "Fine I won't argue with you. Thank you for wanting to look out for me. We are going to be fine Oliver okay, everything will work itself out in the end you'll see." 

She saw his lips turn up ever so slightly and she rewarded them with a soft barley there kiss before going back to the cot to grab the clothes that Diggle had brought for her to change into. Once changed she sits at her computers and gets to work to try and figure out who could have set the fire and why. Her first thought has her hacking into the FBI data base and looking at the records fed to the FBI from Graham's tracking device he is suppose to be wearing. The records state that he is still in his halfway house and hasn't left since he returned to it at noon the previous day. 

"I'm going to go make the necessary arrangements for us to stay at my place. Will you be ok being by yourself for a little while," Oliver asks from right behind her with his hands in each shoulder. 

She simply nods and then Oliver places another kiss in her hair and walks toward the door. She hears Oliver walk upstairs and the door close behind him before she speaks out loud to herself, "Damn it, back to the drawing board."


	16. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't have much to say. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it has lemon and angst.
> 
> Disclaimer: Arrow isn't mine :(

She has been here for three weeks. Three long, beautiful weeks. They still had no idea who set fire to Felicity's apartment building, but he wasn't thinking about that now. Instead he was thinking about how he was right about the light she gives off out shining through even the darkest memories. Her light is the reason he just gave away his secrets he brought with him from the island and held onto tightly. She didn't interrupt him during his tale and didn't push when he would stop to catch his breath. She simply laid across the bed with her feet flat on the bed and her knees bent in the air wearing one of his button down shirts that she loved to steal (and he loved to see her in) while he sat with his back against the headboard. He loved that her expression stayed completely indifferent and there was no pity in her eyes and he felt himself love her just ever so slightly more because of that.

It took him the better part of the evening and well into the night to tell her the whole tale starting at when he watched Sarah disappear from his arms to casting a flaming arrow for the signal fire. According to the clock beside the bed he finished his tale twenty three minutes ago and she still said nothing. Oliver felt his heart rate beginning to pick up out of fear that all of what he just shared was just too much for her accept.

"So let me get this straight... You knew which microchip to remove from a missile launcher, but you can't erase your internet history? Unbelievable," Felicity finally said after thirty six minutes of a silent room.

Oliver felt the tension leaving his body as a smile crossed his face as he shuffled down the bed so he could lay on his side next to her propping his head up with his hand, "Really? After all of that, that's what you want to ask me?"

The room filled with Felicity's laugh before she responded slightly more serious, "Oliver, there really isn't anything I can say. I'm not going to pity and coddle you, that's not what you need. You need someone who is going to one hundred percent accept you and the memories that made you who you are. Now whether they are good memories or bad doesn't matter, they are part of you and they are part of you... you're a package deal."

He watched her eyes as she spoke and could see that she meant every word she was saying to him. "Are you ever going to stop surprising me?"

A little wicked grin spread across her before she pushed him onto his back so she could straddle his waist and his hands rested on her thighs, "If I do that, you might bored and then you might leave me...and I'm very selfish and can't take that chance."

Before he could respond she claimed his lips with hers. He felt her teeth on his bottom lip and he couldn't stop the growl that escaped him. He moved his hands from her thighs up her sides. His left arm wrapped itself around her back to hold her body against him while his right hand tangled itself into her hair. The moan he heard escape her was almost his undoing, but before he could roll them over and take control she pulled back.

"What brought along the decision to share the island with me?"

He took a very deep breath partly to prepare himself for the answer and secondly to try and regain control of the lower half of his body, "You have shared yourself and your past with me because you trust me, and I just wanted you to know that I trust you that much also."

"Thank you for that," she said leaning down to give him another kiss.

Oliver deepened the kiss right away and finally gave in to his need to be on top of her and rolled them over. He felt her legs wrap around his waist and pulled him right against her. He felt his hard member press against heat and he couldn't suppress the groan that was in his throat. She was moaning underneath him while she rubbed herself against him. Normally he liked to take his time with her, but that wasn't seeming to be the case tonight. She wanted him just as much as she wanted him and he could never not give her what she wanted.

He ripped his shirt off her body revealing her perfect breast and a little piece of dark green lace covering her most secret place hot, wet and waiting for him. "Oh fuck you're killing me. You have no idea how good this color looks on you... Remind me to buy you a ton of underwear that looks just like this." Felicity laughed a little bit holding eye contact with him, but her laughter was muted by the sound of ripping fabric and he silenced her objection by slamming his lips down on hers.

While continuing to kiss her, Oliver took his right hand and started to push down the pajama pants he wore along with his boxers. As he inched them down his body he felt the sting of her digging her nails into his back and forgot all about getting them completely off, they were down far enough. He moved his hand from his pants to her opening, but didn't touch her. He wanted to hear her ask for it, beg for it and only then was he going to give in.

She was arching her body, straining to feel his touch. "Please Oliver. Please..." He didn't bother to try and hide his smug smile as he gave her what she asked for and slipped his digit inside of her and she rewarded him with a loud moan. He started to kiss her again as he slowly worked her body, enjoying her sounds and the way she felt around his calloused skin. She started to move her body in rhythm with his thrusts and he felt her tightening around his finger alerting him she was about to fall over the blissful edge he was pushing toward... And then he removed his finger.

She made a sound in protest between her deep breaths and that was when he slid inside of her. As he finished settling himself completely inside her, her muscles tightened around his member and moaned his name over and over as she came down from her climax. When she caught her breath he started to move within her. Oliver truly couldn't think of a better feeling then her arms and legs wrapped completely around him as he pulled out of her only to push back in. Her moans started to grow louder and he rewarded her with a faster pace. When she pressed her nails into his back again and he thrust into a couple more times he fell over the edge taking her with him.

They laid panting for a few moments, Oliver's body completely covering hers like a security blanket. After a few moments Oliver lifted himself onto his hands again and moved to slide out of her. Twenty years from now, he still won't be able to tell you why he said what he said next but he said it anyways, "I love you and I love knowing that even when I pull out of you that there is still some of me inside you to remind me that you're mine as much as I am yours."

The look on Felicity's face shifted from contentment to need again with in a blink of the eye. She tightened her hold around his neck and brought his lips down to her and she started kissing him deeply again. He smiled into the kiss and rolled them over so she was on top of him. 

Her lips started to work their way down his body when his phone rang. By the ringtone he knew it was Diggle and he decided to ignore it and focus on the beautiful woman on top of him working her way down to his already hard appendage. His head was rolled back ever so slightly with his mouth partially open. He released a deep moan as she took him into her mouth and worked him as far as she could take him. The sounds he was making were once again interrupted by Diggle's ringtone.

Oliver felt her lips leave his body and then something fall on to his stomach and looked it was his cell phone. "I'm busy, what do you need Dig?"

"There was a threat made against Thea and the extra security I put on her aren't responding on the comms," Diggle all but yelled from the other side of the phone.

"Be there in ten," Oliver said before he ended the call and jumped off the bed pulled his boxers on and ran to his closet. He could feel Felicity's eyes on him so he said, "A threat was made against Thea and Dig can't get in touch with his guys I'm going to go check it out." He could feel every part of his body get very tight with the thought that something could have happened to Thea.

Felicity stood up wrapping the sheet around herself, "Oh my God, is there anything you need me to do?"

As wound up as Oliver was he couldn't stop the small smile that formed because of how thoughtful she is. "I'll let you know. Just stay here don't leave the house. I'll give you a call when I find out what is going on." He bent to give her a light kiss and ran out the door.

He jumped on his motorcycle and sped to Thea's condo that her a Roy lived in together. It took so much convincing to get Oliver to agree to this living situation, but Felicity helped Thea talk him into it. The two most important women got along to well and knew how to work him so they could get him to agree to it. Right now as he broke every street law he knew of, he cursed himself for being to weak to say no to them.

Diggle met him on the side walk with his weapon drawn, "I'll take that back if you want to take the front Oliver." Oliver just nodded and walked to the front door.

He was ten seconds from reaching the door when it opened and showed him Thea, "Ollie, what are you doing here?"

He ran to her placing both hands on her shoulders, "Are you okay Speedy?"

She laughed at him a little and replied, "I'm fine Ollie, I heard someone walking up and I thought you were the pizza guy." The younger woman studied her brother's face for a moment and then asked, "What's wrong Ollie? You look like you're about to be sick."

Diggle came around the side of the house with his weapon still in his hand, "Diggle received a threat against you and couldn't get in touch with your extra protective detail."

Thea looks at Diggle and slightly smiles, "You can put that thing about Dig. Roy and I are fine. The security guys are inside playing poker with Roy, and man is he kicking their ass. Have you ever seen tank sized men cry over money? It's hilarious!"

Diggle holsters his gun and walks inside while Oliver pulls Thea into a tight hug. She returns the hug, but the calm that Oliver was starting to feel was taken from him again when Diggle walked out of the condo, "All their comms had been remotely turned off. Someone really wanted us to think she was in danger."

Fear washes over Oliver and then only thing he can say is, "Felicity" before he runs to his bike and races back to where he had just come from. He tried to call her more than two dozen times before he reaches his front door and burst threw a slightly ajar door. The entry way and the living room to the right is in complete shambles, but what stopped his heart was the small puddle of blood by the fire place. 

He runs threw the house calling her name so often and loud that his throat starts to feel like sand paper. After exploring every inch of the house he finds himself sitting next to the small blood puddle completely on autopilot. Oliver has no idea how long he sat there. All he knows is that is that this is where Diggle found him.

"Felicity," Diggle's voice asked.

Oliver felt tears running down his cheeks and he looked up to Diggle and answered in a very low whisper, "Gone." The word gone played over and over in his head and then it sunk in, his heart, happiness and world was gone... Taken from him.

Oliver looked down to the blood one more time and then stood up and walked out of the room and out of the house. Diggle was hot on his heels. Oliver climbed into the backseat of the car and Diggle got into the driver's side, "Where are we going?"

Oliver just stared out the window, with all of his emotions completely turns off except for anger, "We need to get to the Foundry. Now Diggle!" 

The next thing to be heard was rocks flying out from under the car and the squeal of tires once they reached the street.


	17. Felicity's Full Disclosure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is up and ready for you to enjoy. I really should have been doing my homework for into to chemistry and health and society, but this just seemed so much more fun than do that. Anyways I really hope you like it and the little twist I added on a whim.
> 
> Disclaimer: I really really really wish I owned Arrow, but I don't. When I take over the world I will, but until then CW and DC Comics have dibs.

Her head was killing her, but that didn't compare to the pain she felt on her left side. All she could see was black, but she knew she was in trouble and her mind plays out how she got here.

Oliver had been gone only a couple of minutes when the doorbell sounded. She quickly finished putting on her pajamas, slipped her feet into a pair of boots that were sitting next to her and Oliver's bed. Silently laughing at herself because she can't stand to walk around without something on her feet and went to go answer the door. She saw a familiar face through the glass and even though it was late and she was at Oliver's house it didn't occur to her to be overly vigilant after all she has known the guy on the other side of the door for four years. 

They first met on her first day at QC, he came into her office and introduced himself, "Hello, I'm Ben Jackson. Welcome to the IT department."

He was always kind to her, maybe a little too flirty but always very kind. So when she opened the door and he walked in she never would have quested what was going to happen next. She turned around to face him after closing the door and she was welcomed with a slap across the face and then another on the opposite cheek. It took her a second to collect what had just happened and she adjusted her stance and punched him right in the nose, creating a loud crack sound. 

He took a half step back and she ran toward the living room to get to her cell phone she knew was on the coffee table. She was almost there when she felt him grab ahold of her hair and pulled her down to the ground. He kicked her twice saying things under his breath that she didn't quite catch. Lucky for her this was Diggle's lesson last, how to get off the floor with the assailant looming over you. She was in a lot of pain, but put herself in the proper position and waited for his foot again. When it came toward her she grabbed him around the ankle and stood up really fast, pulling his foot out from underneath him. 

He felt head first into the fire place and laid there unmoving. Felicity grabbed her phone sliding it into her right boot and ran toward the front door and when she opened it she was greeted by the face that has been haunting her nightmares for over a decade and then everything went black.

She was pulled out of her unconsciousness by the sound of two arguing men. "All you had to do was grab the girl, not let her kick the shit out of you!"

Then she heard a voice she knew to be Ben's, "What does it matter? We got the girl, and I'm sure Queen will pay a shit ton of money to get her back!"

She couldn't stop the surge of comfort that came with knowing this wasn't a Hood thing, this was just plain old stupid greed. "Look there buddy, I see movement."

A couple seconds later she was blinded with light and then greeted by that faces of her captures. She wasn't going to panic no matter what. She knew Oliver would be looking for her and judging by the lack of pressure in her boot they found her cell phone, but she still had her glasses and she had fitted them with GPS when she first joined team arrow so it was only a matter of time. So all she had to do was keep calm and buy Oliver some time to find her. She watches the men for a moment and decides that now is as good of time as any to start buying time, "So do I have to ask the cliché 'why?' or are you guys just going to tell me?"

She was rewarded with another slap across the face, but this time it was delivered by Jason Graham. "I forgot how snarky you are you little bitch." The smile on his face made her skin crawl and then he spoke again, "You shot me in the leg. Sent me to jail for eleven years... Do you know what they do to guys like me in jail?"

She smiled at him, "As a matter of fact I do. Knowing that you were probably being raped repeatedly and constantly being beaten within an inch of your life really helped me deal with me own issues."

He slapped her again a couple times, but to her it was completely worth it. She was standing up to the man she has spent her entire life being afraid of and to her in that very moment it was worth a thousand slaps. 

She shook her head and then looked at Ben, "What about you? Why are you doing this to me? I've always been so nice to you."

He scuffed and then replied, "Yeah it was real nice that you replaced me as lead IT when you came to work at QC. It was really nice having you shoot me down for over a year, telling me you didn't want a relationship and then you start seeing Oliver fucking Queen! I never would have pegged you as a gold digging whore, but you must be good if Queen was always staying at your place-"

"Wait! Were the person who burned down my apartment building? Do you know how many people you could killed?"

"Bet your ass I was and I'd do it again, but I would have made sure it was closer to your apartment," he replied with such an evil tone that it actually broke her heart for him a little bit how could someone be so heartless.

Jason looked to Ben and said, "I'm gonna prepare to make the call... Don't let her kick your ass again." With that he turned and walked out of the old run down building that Felicity hadn't surveyed until now.

With just her and Ben in the room she looked to him, "How did you get mixed up with this guy Ben? He is the very definition of a monster."

He shrugged his shoulders with such a look of indifference on his face you would have thought she had just asked him what he was picking up at the grocery store, "My brother works for the FBI and was put on the case about Graham's police files being sent to everyone with an email address. He asked for my help to figure out how did it. You did a great job covering your tracks, but I remembered Neil Johnson while you two were dating and when I saw Graham's complete police file complete with pictures of Megan Stein it all made sense. So I went and introduced myself to him and they rest they say is history."

She just stared at him dumb founded for a moment and then Graham walked back into the room, "You ready for this Benny boy?" Ben nods his head, "Good now go cover her mouth."

Right before placed some duck tape over her mouth she moved her head to the opposite side from where Ben stood and spoke, "Before you guys do this, full disclosure... This is going to end so unbelievably bad for you that words can't express it and because I'm a very polite person I will give you a chance to reconsider this whole plan." Then men just looked at each other and started laughing, "Can't say I didn't warn you. Ok let's get this show on the road." The men stopped laughing and just looked at her while she kept the bored look she had been holding on her face.

Ben placed the duck tape on her mouth and Graham brought her cell phone to eye level and touched the screen a couple times and then ringing filled the silent room. Felicity didn't struggle and just waited for Oliver to answer his phone.

"Felicity?"

She almost lost her reserve for a second when she heard his voice. She could hear all his emotions, the anger, the worry and the love.

"Actually no Mr. Queen, we've never actually met we do however have a mutual acquaintance-"

"Where is she? I swear on my father's grave if you hurt her I will destroy you-"

"Now, now Mr. Queen no need to resort to threats. If you do everything I say and fulfill all my requests you'll have your computer geek back before tomorrow night."

Felicity hears Oliver take a deep breath in and then a deep breath out, "Okay, what do you want?"

"I was thinking something along the lines of fifteen million dollars-"

"Done! Just please don't hurt her," Oliver interrupted.

"If you keep your end of the deal we won't," Graham replied the smile on his face growing larger.

Oliver's voice again fills the room, "I want proof of life though, I need to know that she is ok."

"Of course Mr. Queen, remove the tape."

Ben pulled the tape from her mouth very quickly, but she didn't make a sound. She had a plan, but she had to do this just right so she could get her message to Oliver... She only hoped that he would figure out what she was trying to say. She stayed silent staring at Graham. She was focusing all of her hate into one stare with the hope that it would distract him for the half second she's going to need.

Oliver's voice breaks the silence again, "Felicity? Are you there baby? Are you ok?"

She still focused on Graham with a look that brought a whole new meaning to the saying if looks could kill. She kept her shoulders completely squared and her head held high and then Graham yelled at her, "Speak damn you, you stupid girl! Speak!"

She didn't speak, but was still holding eye contact with Graham she just waited for her moment. Graham was the first to look away from her eyes and Ben started running his hands through his hair squatting down the ground out of frustration this was her moment. As fast as she possibly could she yelled, "Past, people, family jewels, glasses!" Ben was beside her in a second and slapped her hard across the face.

She really wishes Oliver heard Ben's palm against her skin and judging by the growl she just heard from Oliver's side of the phone call she knows he did. Graham's voice fills the space, "I'll call you tomorrow with the trade details" and then he ended the phone call.

Ben replaced the duck tape onto Felicity's mouth, but she really didn't care. With the duck tape seated on her mouth they placed a bag over her head and walked out of the room. Now all she had to do was wait. Without a shadow of a doubt, there was no way Oliver wouldn't come for her. She loved him and the security of knowing that he was going to come for her helped comfort her enough to keep the tears she felt burning to escape at bay.


	18. Flipped benches and bodies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is up! I'm having yet another love/hate relationship with this chapter. I apologize now for this chapter if you don't like it, I'm going to blame my lack of experience in writing. I have never written violence before and I got a lot of requests for how people wanted this chapter to go... I just hope you all won't be disappointed. II hope you enjoy it all the same.
> 
> Disclaimer: Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak still aren't mine :(

Diggle flipped the lights on as they walked into the foundry and walked to the computers while Oliver went to go put on his suit. He couldn't sit in her chair or at her desk, that would simply remind him that she wasn't here. After he was suited up he walked to the desk and stood behind Diggle to watch him try to track her cell phone, but the tracker on her phone was being jammed. After watching Diggle fail at trying to get around the jamming system for the longest fifteen minutes of his life he had to walk away. He walked to his work bench to examine his bow knowing he wouldn't find anything wrong with it. Then he decided to examine the arrows he knew were sharp enough to shred bone. He couldn't stay focused there either and out of shear frustration he grabbed the underneath of his work bench and with all his strength sent it flying through the air and it landing upside down with its contents scattered across the floor.

Oliver looked to Diggle waiting for him to start lecturing him about keeping his cool, but the only words coming from Diggle were swears that he couldn't get any information from Felicity's cell phone. Oliver felt his heart and shoulders drop and he started to walk to the dark corner he spent months in until she pulled him from the darkness. 

Right before he sat down his cell phone rang sending the sound of her ringtone through the room. He pushed the answer button after the second ring, "Felicity?"

Instead of being greeted by her voice he heard a deep male voice he had never heard before, "Actually no Mr. Queen, we've never actually met we do however we have a mutual acquaintance-"

If he wasn't wearing his gloves he was sure his figure nails would be cutting into his palm and he interrupted the foreign voice on the other side on the conversation, "Where is she? I swear on my father's grave if you hurt her I will destroy you-"

"Now, now Mr. Queen no need to resort to threats. If you do everything I say and fulfill all my requests you'll have your computer geek back before tomorrow night."

Oliver take a deep breath in and then a deep breath out trying to regain his composer, "Okay, what do you want?"

"I was thinking something along the lines of fifteen million dollars-"

"Done! Just please don't hurt her," Oliver interrupted, but the voice asking for money tells him that this is about Oliver Queen, not the hood.

"If you keep your end of the deal we won't," the voice replied sounding proud of himself.

Oliver again speaks, "I want proof of life though, I need to know that she is ok."

"Of course Mr. Queen, remove the tape," the voice says and Oliver feels his jaw clinch because of the thought he is currently having... how dare they put tape anywhere on her body?

The silence on the other line was too much for him and voice breaks the silence on the line, "Felicity? Are you there baby? Are you ok?"

His questions were only replied with silence and then he hears the unknown voice yell, "Speak damn you, you stupid girl! Speak!"

She still didn't speak and Oliver notices that he has stopped breathing. Then her voice boomed in his ear, "Past, people, family jewels, glasses" but her voice was silenced by a hard slap assumedly across the face.

Oliver hears himself growl and then it was interrupted by that voice again, "I'll call you tomorrow with the trade details" and then the phone goes down.

Oliver looks to Diggle who is staring at him, "She's alive for right now, but I don't know how much that is going to last." Diggle just nods and Oliver continues, "Now she said four things to me 'past, people, family jewels, glasses', but I have no clue what that means."

"Well, 'past' obviously refers to Graham," Diggle says standing up and starting to pace the room with Oliver.

"'People'... What did she mean by people?" Oliver closes his eyes for a minute for the feeble attempt to see inside his own head and then he does, "People! There is this IT guy at QC and I walked in and he had his hands on her and I threatened to break them... She then said it was mean because he was on of her people!" Oliver opened his eyes and then so etching else came to him, "'Family jewels, remember she said that to me once... Remember it was the Dodger case and she said it about the jewels I put in for bid-"

Diggle interrupted Oliver running to the computer, "She put a tacker on the broach... 'Glasses'! I'll bet she has a tracker on her glasses." Diggle started typing away at the computer so fast that Oliver can't help think that Felicity would be proud. "Yup here it is!" 

Oliver rushed to the computer to look at the map, "It says she's three blocks away!" Oliver ran from the computer to the scattered objects on the floor and grabs his bow and runs up the stair and out the door.

He climbed up the exterior of Verdant to the roof. He then runs and leaps to the building next door and then to the next and then to the next. There is a skylight on the roof and when he looks in he sees what he assumes is her. There is somebody sitting in a chair with a black bag over their head, but what verifies it's her is her Rainbow Bright pajama pants that he loves on her. He watches her for a moment, her legs aren't struggling her, body wasn't shifting and for a moment he feared the worst then her head rolled back and then back forward again. 

He looks around the room she's in and doesn't see anybody else in there with her. He prepares the rope he brought with him and then carefully lifts the window he's been looking through. He puts the rope through the open window and starts to slowly lower himself down until his boots touch the floor. He looks around the room again, he sees light under a down on the other side if the room. He has to move quickly, with Felicity's captors on the other side of the room behind closed doors and morning light starting to shine through the sky light above them it was best to move quickly. 

He stays low to the ground and moves his way toward Felicity, even in this rundown building completely surrounded by the sent of age and mildew there is a very faint smell of lavender surrounding her and found its way into his nose. He slides up behind her in the chair and started to untie her hands. He feels her body go completely rigid and he places a kiss where the bottom of her neck meets her shoulder and the tension leaves her body. After her hands had untie Oliver removed one of the smaller arrows on his wrist to cut the ropes wrapped around her ankles. 

When the ropes fall from her ankles Oliver hears a shuffle from the other side of the room. He places the small arrow into her hands and says, "Don't worry I'm not going to let anything happen to you... Just sit still for a couple minutes and I'll get you out of this." He sees her nod her head ever so slightly and then he moved himself behind a pillar.

"Do you think Queen is gonna pay the random," ask a voice that Oliver didn't hear on the phone and a quick glance verified for him that it was that guy he saw in her office.

Then the voice from the phone replies, "I'm sure he will, but the slap he heard you give her probably didn't help the case any... But as long as we get the money what's it matter right?"

Oliver just worked completely off instinct next he had two arrows flying through the air before he even thought about it. The arrows eached landed in Ben's thighs and he fell to the ground. Graham ran toward Felicity in the chair and ripped the black bag off her head and replaced the bag with a gun.

"I'll kill her! You think her life means anything to me? I didn't twelve years ago and I sure as hell don't now," Graham yelled having one hand on her neck and the other keeping the gun pressed to her temple.

Oliver hesitated releasing the arrow he currently had pulled tightly in his bow, but the hesitation lifted when he watched the little arrow that he had handed to Felicity be jammed to the flesh of Graham's thigh. Graham pushed her to the ground and her hands caught herself before she fell to the ground. As she got onto her hands and knees she brought one of her hands to her mouth and pull the tape from it to release a whisper, "Oliver."

Oliver released the arrow he had strung and let it fly and it hit Graham in the left shoulder. As he fell to the ground he let out a strangled cry of pain. Oliver walked up to Graham and pulled his hood back to have an unstructured view of the man he has been thinking about killing for almost a couple months now. Graham looked up to Oliver and through gritted teeth said, "Oliver Queen is the vigilante? Can't say I saw that one coming-" and he was silenced with a hard punch to his face knocking him out.

Oliver looks to Felicity who is standing next to him now and gives her a deep kiss saying everything that he can't at this moment. Oliver broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers keeping his eyes closed taking in her sent one more time before he speaks, "Will you please tie him up? I'm going to go take care of the other one." He opens his eyes in time to see her nod and move away from him to go grab the rope that was around her wrists.

Oliver goes and walks toward a crawling away Ben. Ben is trailing blood behind him as he try's to escape, and he lets out a ear piercing scream as Oliver grabbed a hold of his left ankle and dragged him the other way. Oliver rolled Ben over to his back and placed his boot over one of Ben's open wounds and pressed hard resulting in another scream from Ben.

"Oliver Queen? Do what you want to me, but when I get out of here I'm telling the SCPD who you are," Ben said between his deep breaths.

Oliver removes his boot from Ben's leg and squatted down next to him, "Your not getting out of here. You really shouldn't have hit her" Oliver said with a growl. Before Ben could say anything else Oliver placed his hands around his neck and then a snapping sound from Ben's neck quickly filled the room.

Oliver's hands lingered on Ben's neck until he felt Felicity's hand on the side of his face. He pushed his face into her hand and then turned his face to kiss her palm. "I'm sorry... I know you hate it when I kill people, but-"

"He was the one who set fire to my apartment building and not only did he not care he almost killed everyone in that building, he said he would do it again if he could," Felicity interrupted. Her way of giving him silent permission to not feel guilty about the life he just took.

Oliver stood up and took her into his arms, taking the warmth that he was afraid he'd never feel again. He pulled back and looked her over and aside from some bruises on her face she looks like she's okay. " I need you to get out of here. Go call the cops and tell them what happened and where they were keeping you." He didn't missed the confusion on her face so he decided to answer her unasked question, "I don't want you here to see what I do to him." Felicity held eye contact with him for a moment and kissed him again.

"Just be careful and please be out of here before the cops get here. I'll see you at the police station ok." Oliver nodded and she kissed him again before turning and running out of the building.

With Felicity gone and one of the abductors dead he walked over to Graham. Instead of waking him up in a traditional fashion Oliver anchors one of his arrows to his bow, pulls it back and releases it into Graham's right foot and Graham wakes with a scream. Oliver retreats into himself while he carves into Graham like he has been planning since he first heard about him. 

He starts by cutting into his chest through his shirt. The next cuts are more like slashes that go from Graham's shoulders down to his wrists. Graham is begging for death now through his tears and Oliver replies with, "How many times did she beg for death? How many times did she beg you to end her suffering? And instead of giving it to her, you gave her to your friends... How could you possibly think I would just let you die yet?"

Graham had tears running down his face now, Oliver was carving crescent shaped wounds all over his legs that match the ones he had marred Felicity's skin with. Then next he take another arrow and stabs it into the area he knows the private parts of men dwell.

When Oliver hears the sirens from a distance that was growing closer, he knows that his time with Graham is coming to an end. With his last breath Graham says, "I hope you burn in hell."

Oliver squares his jaw and says, "You first!" He then takes an arrow from his quiver and thrusts in up from under his chin up through his brain until the end of the arrow is sticking out of his skull. Oliver then backs away from Graham and climbs up the rope that was still hanging from the roof. By the time the police enter the old building, Oliver has already pulled the rope back the ceiling, closed the skylight window and is running back to the foundry where he finds Diggle sitting on the couch waiting for him.

Oliver walks to go change out of his suit and Diggle calls to him, "Felicity called me, told me what happened. She's waiting for you at the police station." Oliver stands in front of Diggle and Diggle walks up to him places a hand on his shoulder, "Let's get you to your girl man."

Oliver releases the breath that he didn't know he was holding, "Yeah, I like that idea" and with that they both walked out of the Foundry to the car they arrived in earlier and make their way to go get the third and final part of their team and Oliver's whole world.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is up and I hope you all like it. I would say I probably only have maybe 2 or 3 chapters left until the end. Now, my husband and I play a game of sorts when one of us is being indecisive we ask each other 1 or 2 without telling each other what the options are and now I'm going to do that with all of you. I have two ideas on how I want to end this story and can't decide which to use... So everyone, 1 or 2? The ending is up to you guys.
> 
> Disclaimer: I only own Arrow in my dreams.

"Okay Ms. Smoak can you go through all of this one more time," Detective Lance asked.

She takes a deep breath she has already told him this story half a dozen times and all she wants right now is to have Oliver's arms around her. "I told you... Mr. Diggle got a threat against Thea and him and Oliver went to go check on her. About ten minutes later Ben Jackson came to the house and after trying my best to fight him off, he and Jason Graham kidnapped me. They called Oliver and asked for fifteen million dollars and as soon as they hung up the Green Arrow came in and saved me."

"Why didn't Oliver call the police," was detective Lance's next question.

"He was probably convicted if he did they would hurt me or worse, but I'm not sure."

"So the hood comes in and saves you... Why?"

"I'm to useful to let something happen to me, he needs his computer geek."

"Okay I can buy that. Why did he torture Graham before he killed him?" Detective Lance reached into a folder and pulled out about a dozen 8x10 photos and slid them across his desk toward Felicity. "What made this so personal for him?"

Felicity didn't have to look at the pictures to know that Oliver did unspeakable things to Graham before he killed him. She knew they would be awful and she has to suppress the small smile aching to escape and luckily the anger she was starting to feel from the two hours of answering the same questions made suppressing the smile a little easier. She will blame aggravation for what she said next and the nasty tone that went along with it, "Graham kidnapped me when I was twelve years old and did terrible things to me for almost three years before I escaped. Whatever the Green Arrow did to him was gratefully deserved and as for why he tortured him... He most likely did it for me. He and I are very close friends and he gave that prick exactly what he deserved! I'm totally baking him some cookies or something for it too."

Lance ran his hands over his face and took a deep breath, "Wow. I have only one more question for you." Felicity nodded at him and he continued, "Any chance you're gonna tell me who the hood is?"

Felicity shakes her head and says, "Not a chance in hell and also detective he really hates that name."

He took a deep breath and released it, "I figured I would ask just in case you felt like telling me this time." Lance stopped speaking and looked toward the door, "I don't have anything else... I think your ride is here."

She perked up in her seat and looked toward the door to see Oliver sweeping the room for her. She was on her feet and running to him before she even had time to think about it. She watched a smile stretch across his face and he caught her as she jumped into his arms. He buried his face into her hair and she felt him take in her sent over and over again.

He placed her on her feet and put each of his hands on her cheeks and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears she didn't know she was shedding. They didn't speak, they just held eye contact with each other. The trance they had was disturbed by Diggle clearing his throat. Felicity smiled and then went toward Diggle and gave him a huge hug also. 

She turned to see Oliver studying her, "What?"

"There was blood by the fireplace, but I don't seeing any wounds that could produce that much blood."

The smile she was fighting finally came through, "It wasn't mine, it was Ben's. I knocked him out and he bled out a bit by the fireplace... Sorry about the stain."

Oliver and Diggle now had a smile to match hers. "This must be what proud parents feel like," said Diggle and the small group started laughing.

Oliver pulled her right against him and tucked her under his chin and only released her when Detective Lance walked over to them.

Oliver held a hand out to Lance and said, "Thank you so much for taking care of her."

Lance didn't return the hand shake, and Felicity wasn't surprised. Instead Lance asked, "So fifteen million dollars, is that what she is worth to you?"

Still keeping his kind demeanor Oliver responds, "I would have given them literally everything I have to get her back." He then took her hand in his and turned and walked out of the building with Felicity in tow and Diggle moving in front of them to open the car door.

They climbed into the car and Oliver pulled her into his lap and held her there. He pressed his nose back into her hair and took a deep breath. This brought a smile to her face and she finally asked the question she has always wanted to ask him, "Why do you do that? I'm not complaining or anything, I actually find it very endearing. You have to admit though it's pretty weird."

Oliver laughed a little and took another deep breath before he answered, "Your sent has a calming effect on me. Your smell lets me know your real , sometimes I need the reality check and it always makes me feel like I'm home."

She had to look away from him, she didn't want him to see the tears that his words caused. It took her a few minutes to will the tears away before she could look up at him again. He was looking out the window and looked to be in deep thought. 

She figured that right now was as good of time as any to say what she has wanted to say to him for a while now. So she takes a deep breath looks down at her hands and then whispers it more to herself than to him, but she still clings to the hope that he will hear her, "I waited my whole life for you. Someone who would see past the scars and the nightmares and still be there in the morning. Someone who would make me feel safe whether they have their arms wrapped around me or talking to me in an ear piece in a casino full of thugs. Someone who I could be my babbling self with and he would be so comfortable with me that he could be his broody self without feeling judged. I didn't expect you, but I'm so very glad you found me."

She looks back up to him and he is looking at her like he is looking at the most beautiful thing in the world. He leans his head into hers until his lips are a breath away from hers and whispered back to her, "I'm glad I found you too. I love you more than I could ever begin to convey to you. You accept me just the way I am, you always have. Even when I would give you terrible cover stories and lies, you still trusted me. I honestly think I don't deserve you, and I hope like hell you never figure it out." She smiled at him and pinched his arm and he yelled, "Ow!"

"That's what you get for belittling yourself Mr. Queen," she replied sticking her tongue out at him. 

He shifted his facial expression to be completely indifferent and then started tickling her.

"You two knock it off or so help me I'll drive us back to the police station!" Diggle yelled from the front seat, not even bothering to hide the smile in his voice. "I swear sometimes I feel like I'm the only adult around here."

Oliver joined Felicity in laughing and was quickly followed by Diggle. She thought about how they must look right now, her being completely haggard and Oliver and Diggle with big circles under either their eyes and yet they were still happy and laughing.

Felicity stopped laughing and wiped the tear out of her eyes then said, "Oliver if it's ok with you, I think you should take the night off and we should have people over for dinner tomorrow night. You know with John, Carly and her son, Thea, Roy and anybody else you can think of."

Oliver tightens his grip on her and says, "I think that is a great idea... How about John, you think Carly would be up for it?"

With a smile still in his voice he replies, "Oh yeah she'd be up for it. Do you want us to bring anything?" He looks into the review mirror at the couple in time to see them shake their heads at the same time.

There wasn't much more conversation while Diggle drove them back to the manor. When they pulled up to the manor, Diggle got out and opened the door for them. Felicity gave him a hug and then her a Oliver walked up the stairs and through the door. Oliver holds firmly onto her hand and leads upstairs toward the room she has been sharing with him. Upon entering the room Oliver closed the door behind them and lead her to the bathroom attached to the room. Oliver turned the shower water on and then started to undress Felicity very delicately.

"I'm not really in the mood Oliver," Felicity said to him with the ghost of a smile in her lips as she lifts her arms above her head while he removes her shirt.

He looks at her and while he reaches around her and unclamps her bra and says, " I didn't realize that was an option."

She just laughs at him and starts to liberate him of his clothing also. They were both standing completely bare to each other and Felicity enters the shower with Oliver right behind her. Oliver puts some of her soap on a wash cloth and started to carefully run it over her body. She had a fully bloomed bruise that went from her hip to under her armpit. As Oliver runs the cloth over her discolored skin, it was impossible to miss the pain in his eyes.

Felicity places her hand on his cheek, "Hey, none of that I'm fine. My ribs aren't even broken and in a couple weeks this" she motioned to her side "will be completely gone."

Oliver closes his eyes and looks down to their feet with his hand still on her bruise, "You shouldn't even have this... I should have been here to protect you. I promised to always protect you and the time that you actually needed me and I fail-"

Felicity put her hand over his mouth before he could finish that thought, "You did protect me! You came and saved me. You know I wasn't even frightened, I knew you would find me. I even warned them that them kidnapping me was going to be the stupid. I have never felt more safe than I have since I have had you in my life. You didn't fail me, you saved me."

He opened his eyes and looked back up to her. She removed her hand from his mouth and he asked her, "What if I wasn't able to find you? What if I wasn't who and what I am?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck, not letting him see the pain she was feeling from her side. "If you weren't who you are we would have never met. You would have never walked into my office with a bullet riddled laptop, Walter would have died in the exchange building, vertigo would be a huge problem in this city, and the whole Glades would have been destroyed. And if you didn't find me you would just have had to pay fifteen million dollars-"

"I would paid a hundred if it meant you would be safe," Oliver said interjecting.

Felicity felt her eyes almost pop out of her head, "I would kick your ass myself if you paid that much."

Oliver smiled down at her and said, "You're worth so much more."

Felicity stood on her tip toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. The rest of their shower was silent, Felicity just soaked in the security that she always feels around Oliver. When their shower was over they stepped out and she dressed in another one of his button down shirt and pulled some pajama pants. Felicity climbed into bed while Oliver pulled the curtains closed blocking out the noonday sun and then slide into bed next to her. He pulled her close to him and fell asleep. When she saw he was asleep her tucked herself right against him then placed a kiss over his heart and whispered her love to him. She settled herself against Oliver and surrendered to sleep, knowing that there wouldn't be any nightmares tonight or any nights to come.


	20. An Amazing, Strong, Tormented, and Sexy Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok the next chapter is up. In the spirit of honesty I only proof read this once before I posted it, so if there is any large mistakes I'm sorry for that. I just wanted to get this up before I went to sleep. Special shout out to Tesra for being the only one who played my little game with me... Thank you so much for your input and this chapter is for you. ***Warning*** about 90% of this chapter in lemon, so if that's not your cup of tea feel free to skip this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I have recently came to terms with the fact that I am mentally cheating on my husband with Oliver Queen and I don't own him... I'm not sure which is more troubling :-/

Felicity was pulled from her sleep when she felt a lot of movement from the other side of the bed. She opened her eyes and looked to Oliver and what she saw pained her heart. Oliver's brow was furrowed, his lips were pulled back baring clenched teeth and he was thrashing on his side of the bed. He truly looked like he was experiencing indescribable pain. She could swear that she hears him saying her name over and over again. She sat straight up and reached for him preparing for the reaction she got the last she rose him from a nightmare. That wasn't what she got though...

He sat straight and looked at her and reached for her face like he thought he was still dreaming. "Oliver, it's ok. You were asleep and having a nightmare. I'm fine see," she paused to motion to herself "everything is fine. You saved me. I'm safe. You can't torment yourself like this. Everything is fine."

She could see Oliver straining to calm his breathing. He brought his knees closer to his body and draped his arms over them then he lowered his to work more on his breathing. Felicity didn't push him, she knew he would talk to her when he was ready so all she had to do is wait. 

After he steadied his breathing he looked from his lap to her eyes and finally spoke, "You were bloody and not moving. And those bastards kept telling me I was to late and they kept telling me I wouldn't be able to save you."

Felicity raised herself to her knees and positioned herself directly in front of him so he couldn't look anywhere but at her and said, "Oliver you need to stop this. You did show up and you did save me and I knew you would. Not even for a second did I worry you wouldn't come for me. I have all the faith in the world in you... I just wish you could see you the way I do. If you could you would see this amazing, strong, tormented, sexy man who is a hero whether he knows or not. I do and that's all that matters."

Oliver reached for her face rubbing his thumb over her cheek and down along her bottom lip. She could see the war raging in his eyes and all the things he wanted to say to her, but didn't. She couldn't let him argue with himself anymore so in attempt to silence his mind she closed the space between them and captured his lips. She could tell she caught him off guard and he was still debating if he should respond to her or not, so she deepened the kiss make the debate easier for him.

She felt him submit to her and to reward him she climbed into his lap. His lips left hers and she almost protested until she felt his lips move across her jaw and settle at her neck. She dropped her head to the side to give him better access. Then he moved his lips from the base of her neck to right below her ear and as his teeth ran across her skin she arched her body into his and she could feel how much he wanted her pressed against her core. She pressed her body against him again and this time he rewarded her with a growl.

He placed his hands under either her bottom so he could pick her up and flip them over so that he was covering her body with his own. Felicity placed her hands on his back and applied pressure to his flesh with her finger nails. He pulled his mouth from her neck and growled at her again. She gave him a huge smile and then raised her head to meet with his lips with her own. Felicity felt Oliver's callus fingers move under the button shirt she was wearing and she moaned against his lips.

Oliver pushed himself up onto his left hand while his right was still under the shirt she was wearing. "I love seeing you in my shirts. It reminds me that you're mine. There is also the way your body responds to me and my touch... Your body knows you're mine." Oliver's face went serious and then asked, "I'll always protect you, you know that right?"

Felicity arched her body into his again, "I have no doubt in my mind that you will always protect me. Just like I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're mine just as much as I'm yours."

Oliver smashed his lips on hers again just as he took his free hand and ripped the front of the shirt open. He moved his mouth down her body to her breasts and she soaked in the feeling of him worshiping her body. He moved his way down her body leaving kisses on her skin in his wake. She then felt his tongue trace the line of her last piece clothing. Shivers traveled from her toes all the way up her body and Oliver's response was a smile on her skin.

He carefully lowered he underwear down her legs and she watched them fly across the room and land on the floor. Oliver carefully pulled her legs apart. Oliver had never done this to her before and because of her scars she was slightly reluctant to give into his unvoiced request. He didn't pry and she loved him more for it. After a couple moment she gave him the trust he wasn't asking for.

When his tongue made contact with her her body jumped a little bit off the bed. It took her couple seconds to get past her original discomfort that was bred from her own insecurities after she pushed those insecurities to the back of her mind she started to enjoy what he was doing to her. As his mouth continued to work her body she was finding it harder and harder to stay still. Her sounds filled the room with complete abandon and completely without shame. 

Her sounds were cut short when she says through her whimpers, "So close..."

Her sounds of pleasure shifted to sounds of disappointment when Oliver removed his mouth from her flesh. Felicity felt the bed shift as Oliver stood from the bed. She watched him lower his pajama pants and his boxers. She decided this was a perfect time to sit up and remove the ruined shirt that was still on her body. As she threw the shirt to the floor beside her underwear Oliver crawled from the foot of the bed up her body.

A smile stretched her face and then threw her arms around his neck and pulled his lips to her own. She made sure the kiss was deep and full of the words that she hasn't said to him yet. Unspoken words of confidence in him, promises to never leave him and a swear to love him forever. She broke the kiss and let out a sigh of contentment when she felt him slide himself to the hilt inside of her. She brought her legs up and linked her ankles behind his back to hold him in place.

Oliver stayed still inside of her for a moment and when she pressed her body toward him he started moving. He went slow taking his time with her and her body while she basked in the feeling of him deep inside of her. The only sound in the room was her moans and the occasional growl from Oliver when he dug her nails into his back. When Oliver picked up speed she knew he was close, she tightened her hold on him with her legs. Oliver reached his hand between them and rubbed the nub of sensitive nerves that he not that long ago has his mouth on. After just a couple of passes of the nerves she finally fell into blissful oblivion and rode out probably the most intense orgasm of her life. After she reached the end of her climax she felt Oliver reach his, spilling inside of her giving her the unbelievable feeling of being filled and that triggered another orgasm almost immediately.

After Oliver caught his he rolled off of Felicity, but still stayed seated inside of her. He pulled her close and whispered in her ear, "Let's sleep for a couple more hours and then we will put together the menu for dinner tomorrow night and we'll go out tonight."

Felicity tucked herself so tightly against his body and before she gave into sleep she said, "Sounds like a plan. I love you so much Oliver."

She felt Oliver press his lips to her forehead and replied, "I love you too Felicity... So damn much."

She felt a smile stretch across her face and she again surrendered herself to sleep again unafraid of nightmares that she knows won't come... Not with Oliver's arms around her and Graham's body in the city morgue.


	21. Happily Ever After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: After 21 chapters I think you guys know this already, but just in case... I don't own Arrow

Oliver woke up first. He was complete surrounded by warmth and he can't think anything feeling more amazing. When he opened his eyes he was overtaken by perfect yellow hair. He knew had to get up and start his day, but the idea of removing himself from inside her body and leaving her in bed felt like it was the worst sin he could commit and he just couldn't pull himself to do it. He decided the day could wait a little longer and he just watched her sleep instead. He could have lost her. The events of the late night and early morning could have gone a completely different way and he wouldn't have her in his arms.

He pressed his face into her hair kissed her head and took in her smell. He loved her scent, it was one of his many addictions that sprung from Felicity. A small smile stretched his face when his memory goes back to a few hours ago when he indulged in his favorite Felicity addiction, one he was still technically indulging in. 

Oliver looked upon her face again and he knew there was no way her was ever letting her go. He knows how to make that so that she can't leave him easily and he will do just that very soon. If Oliver gets his way with in the next couple years he is going to get it on paper and with the paper she is legally going to be his in every way, his partner, his best friend, his wife. He'd do it today if he thought she would go for it. But knowing Felicity the way he does she would say they had to wait longer, that she would want him to wait and see if that marrying her was something he really wanted to do. So Oliver will keep this ambition to himself for now, but it will happen.

Oliver couldn't tell you how long he watched her sleep before an idea came to him. He placed one more kiss on her head before he finally removed himself from her body and their bed. He looked down at her one more time before he sprang into action.

\-----

With his plan fully in motion he set off to do a couple other things he had to get done and calling Thea was number one was on that list. When he finally removed himself from bed he looked at his phone and he had a couple dozen missed calls from her with almost that many voicemails and half as many text messages.

So he pushed number three on his speed dial and only had to wait one ring before she answered, "Where's Felicity?!" Oliver was about to respond but Thea beat him to it, "What happened Ollie? First you come over here all freaked out and the then you say Felicity's name and then you took off... What is going on? She hasn't left you has she? What did you do?"

Oliver really tried but he couldn't stop the small smile stretch across his face at Thea's questions. He does love how fond they are of each other, "No she didn't leave me and I didn't do anything wrong." Oliver felt his smile leave his face, "It wasn't anything that simple. Some people from her past set it up to look like you were in danger so I would leave her here at the house and when I left they kidnapped her. They called me wanting ransom, but the Green Arrow saved her."

Thea didn't make a sound, if it wasn't for her breathing he would have thought that she hung up and then she finally spoke, "Please tell me that she is ok."

The smile returned to his face, "Yeah Speedy she is ok. She's sleeping right now. She did however want me to ask if you and Roy wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow night?"

"Of course! We'll see you guys tomorrow night. Now climb back in bed with your girlfriend, she might need the comfort. Bye Ollie."

"Bye Speedy."

Oliver put his phone down and then went to go finish his list of things to do. It took him about a hour and a half to finish everything else, get in touch with a small catering company to make dinner tomorrow night and then set up the menu for dinner tomorrow night. Then he went into the kitchen and grabbed a little bit of everything cheese, fruit, brownies without nuts, water, juice and placed it all on a huge platter then took it upstairs to his room. That way he and Felicity didn't have to leave his room all day and could spend the whole day in bed.

\------

Thea and Roy arrived at the manor early so that Thea could see Felicity. As soon as Thea walked in the door she gave Oliver a quick hug and then went and threw her arms around Felicity like they were long lost friends. "Are you ok? What happened?"

Felicity laughed a little and that put a bigger smile on his face. "If its ok Thea, I'll answer your questions after the rest of the guests arrive at dinner so I only have to tell the story once."

"Oh yeah I guess that makes perfect sense. I'm just glad that you're ok."

Felicity pulled Thea into another hug and said, "Thank you... Me too."

The door bell went off and Oliver opened the door to see Diggle and Carly at the door and Oliver noticed they were one short and asked, "Where is the little one?"

Carly smiled at Oliver gave him a small kiss on his cheek and then answered, "He got invited to a sleep over and wanted to go to that instead of a and I quote 'boring grown up party'. My son," Carly paused for a moment and smiled "has way to much personality for his own good."

The room erupted into laughter and Felicity gave Carly a hug and pulled her to join her and Thea's conversation leaving the men on the other side of the room as they made their way to the cut crystal housing a very fine scotch.

Each guy had a glass in his hand with two fingers worth of liquor watching the ladies talking with each other with huge smiles on their faces. Diggle was the one to interrupt the silence between the men, "You know guys, I think we did pretty good for ourselves. They're beautiful, smart and they put up with us." Diggle raised his glass ever so slightly and then said, "Here's to being some lucky bastards."

Oliver and Roy smiled at the same time and raised their glasses along with Diggle and said in perfect unison, "To being some lucky bastards." They clinched their glasses, took sips of their scotch and started laughing.

"I think that's everybody... Should we make our way to the dining room now Oliver," Felicity asked from the other side of the room.

Oliver gave her the smile that was reserved for her and her alone and said, "Not yet, we are still missing one more person-" Oliver was cut short by the doorbell and then said "Speaking of which." He walked his way to the door and opened it then held his hand out as he said, "Zachary, it's so good to see you again."

"It's good to see you too my boy. Thank you for the invite and the private jet to get me here," Zachary responded as he walked through the door.

"Daddy," Felicity yelled and ran into his arms wrapping her arms around his neck.

Zachary picked Felicity up a little and spun her around in a circle and Oliver had a sense of daja vu watching them do exactly what they did the first time he met Zachary. Oliver's happiness was cut short though when he heard a quite "ow" escape Felicity's lips as she clutched her side fore s second. Oliver was beside her instantly and she gave him a quick smile, he knew it was her way to tell him that she was ok.

A couple minutes later the small group made their way to the table Oliver sat at the head of the table with Felicity to his right and Diggle to his left. Zachary sat next to his daughter with Roy on his other side while Carly sat next to Diggle with Thea on the other side of her.

Thea was the first to speak, "Okay Felicity, what happened?"

"It's simple really, two men named Jason Graham and Ben Jackson made it look like you were in danger so Oliver would rush to try and save you and after he left the manor they kidnapped me. They then called your bother and asked for fifteen million dollars. As soon as they hung up with Oliver the Green Arrow came and saved me. He cut me free and I ran away and he killed them."

Roy asked the next question, "No offense I'm glad you're safe, but why would he save you?"

Felicity smiled and then said, "Even someone as tough as the Green Arrow needs a techie's help every once in a while."

Roy's eyes grew to the size of small plates and light up like a Christmas tree then asked, "You know him? Do you think you could-"

"No Roy, I'm not going to introduce you to him and I won't tell you who he is... Sorry," Felicity said.

Roy dropped his head like a small child scolded for stealing cookies before dinner and the whole table erupted with laughter.

Zachary raised his wine glass and purposes his very own toast but looked directly at Oliver, "To the Green Arrow for saving my daughter and who ever else he might have saved." 

The table stayed silent for a moment and then Diggle said, "The Green Arrow saved me once."

Then Roy, "He saved me too."

Then Oliver, "Me also."

The table fell silent again then at exactly the same time everyone raised their wine glasses and said, "To the Green Arrow" and Zachary's eyes never left Oliver.

The rest of the dinner was filled with laughter and joy. Zachary shared a couple stories about Felicity when she was very young. Thea told them of things that her and Oliver did as kids. Diggle shared a story of his brother and himself and their first adventure with beer and how much trouble they got in. While Carly shared a couple stories of funny things her son has done in his short life.

Oliver looked around the table and thought to himself that he had never seen a more unusual yet happy family in his life. Then his thoughts went to the night that Felicity pulled him off the floor and how that had changed his life for the better. She showed him happiness when he thought it died and love when he thought he would never have it.

As the night came to an end the guests started to leave. Right before he walked out the door Zachary approached Oliver, "Can I speak to you in private for a moment son?" Oliver nodded and lead Zachary into his father's old study and closed the door behind them. When Oliver turned to face the older man he pulled Oliver into a tight hug and said, "Thank you for saving my daughter. I'm forever in your debt."

Oliver slightly returned the hug, "I didn't do anything, sir. It was the Gree-"

Zachary broke the hug, "That's bull shit and we both know it. Don't worry I won't tell anybody your secret, it's not my secret to tell. I am going to say though, if you ever want to marry my daughter you have to hang up the hood. I'm a widower and I refuse to let my daughter become a widow if I can help it."

"Yes sir. How did you know?"

Zachary shrugged his shoulders, "I saw it in your eyes when you said that you would always look after my daughter besides I'm very good at reading a man's character. Just so you know though, I still promise lots of pain and death if you hurt her." With that said Zachary walked toward the door and left the room.

Oliver hung back in the room for a moment to pull himself together and then left the room also just in time to watch Zachary give Felicity a hug good-bye. After Zachary walked out of the house Oliver went up behind Felicity and pressed a kiss to where her neck and shoulder meet. Felicity grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs to their room. She put on another one of his shirts and he laid down in bed in his boxers. Felicity crawled into bed and snuggled beside him and she fell asleep almost instantly.

Oliver felt himself fall asleep right away too. He dreamt of the next fifty years of his life. Him hanging up his hood and becoming a husband to Felicity on a beautiful beach. He saw a little boy with very light brown hair and beautiful grey eyes like his mother's with a tablet in one hand and the hand of a little girl with brown hair and his blue eyes who is holding a toy bow in her other hand and has suction cup arrows in a little quiver on her back walking toward him chanting "Daddy" over and over again with Felicity right behind them telling him that they are so like him that it's unbelievable. He saw his children grow up and have some of their own while Oliver and Felicity grow old together and live a life with so much happiness and love that their happiness gives their children something to strive for. She really was the reason he lived through the island, she was his forever and the happily ever after he never believed in until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have finally reached the end. Thank you for reading, I really hope you all enjoyed it.


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